Excerpts From Yahoo’s New Terms of Service
“You agree to hold Yahoo, its subsidiaries and anyone named Marissa Mayer harmless from any claim or demand arising out of anything Yahoo may or may not have done, or isn’t doing now but did before, or may still be doing.”
“You understand that all email correspondence passing through Yahoo servers is strictly private but may be casually glanced at by a guy named Barry, or a guy not named Barry, or anyone else employed by law enforcement or other governmental agencies.”
“You accept that all Yahoo Services may include advertisements which are necessary for Yahoo to obtain revenue that will likely be used to pay for public relations to counter catastrophically bad press.”
“Yahoo, its subsidiaries and anyone tasked with damage control, reserves the right to deflect, evade, parse or strategically answer any questions regarding Yahoo services and/or practices.”
“You understand that when presented with questionable directives by any or all federal agencies, Yahoo may eagerly drop its figurative trousers to comply.”
“In some instances where your privacy may be at stake, we reserve the right to look away and whistle.”
“Please alert us to any violations of our Terms of Service by writing about it in a private email to a friend.”
