Healing From Deep Trust Wounds
A band-aid can only do so much to heal a wound. It’s effective in healing a minor cut like a paper cut, but it’s not enough to heal a deep wound. You can consider cleaning your skin and putting a band-aid on to a deep wound, but without effective treatment, the skin will not recover.
Broken trust can actually manifest within us in the same way as a wound. Certain “trust wounds” require taking on a healing journey rather than finding quick-fixes. Without healing from trust wounds, trauma can develop, and over time, we are putting ourselves at a risk of letting our past define our present instead of becoming the best version of ourselves.
The healing journey requires reflection on the past, focus on the present, and hope for the future.
The Past: Letting Go of Unmet Expectations
Turmoil in relationships with our friends, family, colleagues, significant others may lead to creating a trust wound. We may have felt a sense of betrayal if a relationship did not end as we had intended it to end, or perhaps we still miss having a relationship with someone. Maybe there’s no way that we can rekindle a relationship because a loved one has suddenly passed away. In these times of change, which may be sudden, the one relationship that is constant is our relationship with God.
Just as relationships require time to develop, a relationship with God also requires time. One has to trust God to truly feel the peace of associating oneself with God.
Focusing on Our Relationship With God
“If one understands God to be the all-doer, one experiences peace.” — Pramukh Swami Maharaj
We may have believed in the idea of spiritual practice and connecting with God to be a source of peace, but there may have been days where we are at unease with our thoughts and life experiences. As we strive for success, professionally, socially, and personally, we may have been hyper-focused on one area of our life, and have unintentionally placed our relationship with God on the back-burner.
I too have experienced this in my past, and I am still working on fostering a deeper connection with God. Of course, each role that we pursue in life has different responsibilities, but our spiritual mindset should be inserted into all our roles rather than being a completely different part of our identity. With this mindset, we are able to act with genuine intentions and accept our past.
A Letter of Courage
A guru (spiritual guide) is placed in our lives to teach us how to connect with God, even in times when our faith is being tested. Through the teachings of the guru, we find a path to connect with God.
His Holiness Mahant Swami Maharaj, the current spiritual head of BAPS, has always diligently responded to letters from individuals seeking guidance.
One such letter was sent to Mahant Swami Maharaj by a twenty-one year old woman from Chicago who felt deeply insecure about her career. While she had not admitted in the letter, she was embarrassed of facing what seemed like failure. Her self-confidence was shattered to an extent. Finding solace in writing to her guru felt like the best option.
At that time, Mahant Swami Maharaj was in Ahmedabad, India for the Centennial Celebration of Pramukh Swami Maharaj, the fifth spiritual successor of BAPS. Over 12 million individuals attended the program, and Mahant Swami Maharaj had an extremely busy schedule during the event, often requiring hours without rest.
Despite the ongoing celebrations, Mahant Swami Maharaj patiently read the woman’s worries and provided guidance. She was reminded to rest assure that her challenges would be resolved, as God would guide and guard her future.
The woman who wrote the letter was me. From the moment that I received a response, the letter has become my source of strength in my personal, professional, and social life, all infused with spirituality. On days that feel socially-emotionally burdensome, I read the letter to remind myself of the friend I found in my guru. On days filled with nervousness for the future, the letter reassures me that I am safe. On days filled with moments of joy, I feel a divine presence with me.
As I prioritize my connection with my Guru and God, I see how my challenges continued to be resolved. Over time, I am gaining self-confidence, as I find closure with my past. Whether it’s in the form of a letter, prayer, meditation, or devotion, daily interaction with a guru is a practice that continues to alleviate worries for many people.
The Present: Forging a Positivity Mindset
Staying in the present moment, and recognizing that God’s will is for my benefit, will allow us to be positive. During times when it may feel as if trauma is being re-played, we learn to recenter ourselves without putting ourselves into a series of negative thoughts.
“God’s will is for my benefit” — Pramukh Swami Maharaj
The benefits of this thought is that we find acceptance in the present and become confident in our identity. Our identity is now linked with our connection to God. Instead of feeling a sense of overwhelming burden, the strength of surrendering ourselves to God propels us forward.
Simple strategies to keep this thought with us:
- Chant the name of God, when you find yourself in a tense situation
- Pray to God and the Guru before beginning a difficult task
- Take moments within the day to take a few deep breaths
These strategies have been helpful to me, as I navigated moving from one place to another and dealt with changes in relationships. When I first tried this, I was uncomfortable because it felt like I had to stop being “on the go”. Over time, I realized that if I learn to heal myself through spirituality, I will be able to remain calm in stress-inducing situations.
The Future: Hopeful Energy Through Spirituality
As we are approaching a future where there may be many uncertainties, it’s important for us to keep practicing spirituality. It’s the only means through which we will be sustain the progress that we have developed through our spiritual healing journey. I’ll be moving to a new city this fall, and I hope to keep these spiritual practices with me to break free from nervousness.
“Your thoughts have the power to destroy your lives or elevate you to noble heights. You become what you think” — His Holiness Mahant Swami Maharaj
Think about what’s coming up for you, and how you hope to react with spirituality. Remember, that you are writing your own healing story, so trust yourself and begin to embrace the journey!
Mahima Dave
