Mandirs: Inspiring Personal and Community Growth
I was taking my 2.5-year-old son (yes, those half-years make a huge difference at that age!) to school when we saw a pile of clothes and old toys towards the front, as the school was running a donation drive. My son asked me what it was all about, and I explained that the school was trying to help children who may not have toys or clothes. As we walked up the steps to the front door, I shared with him that it is normal to feel happy when we receive toys and clothes, but we will always feel more joy when we give to others who may have less than us. In fact, by sharing and giving to other kids, we not only make the recipients happy but also make our God and guru happy.
After saying goodbye, I realized that what I shared with him was something I genuinely felt. While many people around the world are charitable and giving, for me, it was something I was taught while going to a mandir. A mandir is a Hindu place of worship, like churches for Christians, synagogues for Jews, mosques for Muslims, gurudwaras for Sikhs, or derasars for Jains. These religious structures are vital in bringing communities together, serving as a place of spiritual guidance, cultural preservation, and social connection.
As a child in the 1980s, my parents took me to the BAPS Mandir in Flushing, NY, the first mandir for the organization in the United States. I used to stay there throughout the day with other kids, and soon, many of them became life-long friends with whom I keep in touch regularly, even today. The reason we stayed there throughout the day was because of the multiple activities the mandir offered.
The mandir in Flushing, NY, along with the 100+ BAPS Hindu mandirs and hundreds of other Hindu mandirs that now exist in the USA, serve as centers for cultural, social, and educational activities, such as language classes, music and dance programs, and community service events, that help people connect and foster a sense of belonging. I can honestly say that my ability to speak publicly, communicate, be a team leader, dance, play Indian instruments, and read/speak my native language is due to the various classes and opportunities the mandir offers. To this day, when there are icebreakers or team meetings at work where everyone is asked to share a fact that a co-worker would not know, I proudly say I once danced at the famous Radio City Music Hall in New York in front of 5,000 people, all because of the mandir.
Beyond the personal development of tens of thousands of individuals that mandirs help inspire, their true gift is helping communities and bringing people together. One of the central tenets of Hinduism is seva or selfless service. By performing seva of others, we are in fact serving God. So, whereas it might be seen as volunteerism by many, for Hindus, this is an act of devotion that helps in one’s spiritual growth. Therefore, it’s not just an option but a religious obligation. The act of seva bestows many benefits. It reduces the attachment of the giver toward material objects, develops an attitude of service, expands the heart, and helps foster the sentiment of compassion for others. It also gives you the satisfaction that you are part of a bigger purpose.
Mandirs provide a space for regular seva, allowing people to directly help others by participating in tasks like cleaning restrooms, leading children’s activities, and cooking food for the congregants after weekly sabhas (congregations). Additionally, events such as blood donation drives, health fairs, food drives, and walkathons are organized throughout the year to support the larger community. In the late 1990s, I was part of a team that initiated the concept of walkathons across BAPS mandirs in North America, choosing a regional and local charity to benefit, and asking all congregants to solicit donations by walking for the chosen cause. These walks/runs have been held annually throughout the country, raising millions of dollars over the past 25+ years for many remarkable charities, including the American Cancer Society, UNICEF, the Nature Conservancy, and local emergency services where BAPS mandirs exist. Looking back, I get goosebumps thinking about being a small part of creating an event that has done so much good, and there is no doubt in my mind that the mandir played a significant role in cultivating this thought and desire to help others.
Although I have witnessed firsthand the positive impact mandirs have had on my life, as well as that of my family and children, we live in an era where being religious is somewhat taboo, or at least, questioned. According to a religious landscape survey conducted by Pew Research Center in 2018 and 2019, 26% of Americans are now religiously unaffiliated, up from 17% in 2009. That’s slightly over one in every four Americans! Even among those who maintain religious affiliation, the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago has tracked attendance at spiritual services, which has declined sharply over the years. While nearly 50% of Americans reported going to religious services at least once a week in the 1960s, that number has now fallen below 25% in 2020, with a particularly pronounced decline among younger generations.
Given this context, it is not surprising that some of my friends during college, and a few now, questioned why I regularly attended the mandir or helped when a new BAPS mandir was being built. For them, being a good person and giving to others was more important than creating such places. Some even considered it a waste of money to build places of worship. I won’t dispute that some people who claim to be religious may not be good humans. However, based on my personal experience, I can directly attribute my talents, skills, and disposition in life to my association with the mandir. I’m not suggesting that one must go to a mandir to be considered a good person, as many individuals are genuinely kind-hearted. Nevertheless, a mandir provides a space that continually inspires individuals to do good, not just once or twice a year, but every day, at all times, even when it is not convenient for them. It is one’s religious and moral obligation. And, just like schools are only useful if one attends them regularly, these positive thoughts are reinforced consistently by going to the mandir consistently.
The mandir inspires people to think about how they can help others, as per the famous proverb, “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” Giving money or clothes to someone can provide immediate relief, but it is often limited. And sometimes, undoubtedly, that is needed. Asking a person who is dying of thirst to build a well would be a disservice to them. Instead, give them a glass of water!
Similarly, BAPS mandirs have taught me helping can come in two forms. During natural calamities, BAPS volunteers deliver hot food, clothes, and other essentials to affected sites. After 9/11, I went to major intersections in central New Jersey with BAPS volunteers to collect funds for the victims and emergency personnel who lost their lives helping others.
At the same time, when looking at the long-term horizon, helping someone learn a skill or overcome addiction can change the trajectory of their life and that of their family. In 2003, I traveled with a few friends and BAPS Swamis (monks) to some rural and tribal areas of Gujarat, India. The purpose of the trip was to for us to recognize that while schools and hospitals are needed in society, so too are mandirs. During our visit, we met a family who shared their story with us. The male householder was a farmer who had to have his wife and children work on the farm due to financial hardships, which led to them having only one decent meal a day. He could not afford to send his kids to school and not work on the farm because of his addiction to alcohol and bidis (Indian cigarettes). At times, he even borrowed money to sustain his addiction.
However, he was able to turn his life around after meeting BAPS Swamis who encouraged him to start attending the nearby mandir once a week for religious services. Through this, he gradually gained the strength to give up his addictions and incorporate religion and spirituality into his daily life. He eventually saved enough money to hire farmhands, enabling him to send his kids to school, and to expand his hut with better materials for a comfortable living. His friends were also inspired by the change in his life and began attending the mandir or re-engaging in their worship choices. Over time, the entire village became more spiritually inclined, creating a peaceful and harmonious society where villagers respected, helped, and appreciated each other.
Peace and harmony are essential in our world, but we are often controlled by our baser instincts of ego, greed, jealousy, anger, and lust. The news is often filled with stories about wars, shootings, and partisan issues. However, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.” We need to change first to create a better world. Cities can change if towns and communities change first, communities can change if families change first, and families can change if individuals change first.
As seen in the example of the farmer, individuals can be inspired to change by going to mandirs or places of worship. I have experienced it in my life, and I hope I can help my children experience that too.
Yogesh Patel, New Brunswick, NJ
Treasury/Finance Officer
