Self-Spring Cleaning

Every March or April, millions of households undertake a transformative ritual — Spring Cleaning. They go room to room and figure out what stays, what goes and where to organize it. I, for one, usually opt for throwing out everyone’s things (unless they are my things).

Spring cleaning is also infamous for another reason. Some of the best arguments ever have happened during spring cleaning. As a loser of just about every one of these arguments, I have learned a precious and lifelong lesson. When doing spring cleaning, one’s analysis should not be limited to whether something “needs” to be, or should be, thrown out. One must also incorporate a complex and unpredictable algorithm as to what will I be “asked” to throw out when I, hypothetically, of course, ask my wife about that ugly, chipped vase in the basement that she has not used since we first met.

But in all seriousness, spring cleaning is a cathartic chore, one in which when you finish — whether it takes an hour, a day, a weekend or even longer — you feel a sense of accomplishment. But really, everything you have done boils down to a couple of decisions:

• Are you going to throw “it” out or keep “it”?
• If you are going to keep it, where will it go?

Spring cleaning happens in our homes, in our offices, in our places of worship. It also happens on sports fields and public parks. Every year, we take account of the material things we have and tidy up. But if it is so important to assess our physical possessions, should we not do the same for our inner well-being?

Once, a king decided it was time to look for a wife. Heralds announced the news and invited all the eligible women of the kingdom to come to the king’s palace so he could choose. On the appointed day, the castle’s halls filled with those hoping to catch the king’s eye. Finally, after much waiting, the king and his loyal secretary entered the main hall, and the king sat down on his throne. The secretary thanked them all for coming and then said, “His Highness welcomes you all for coming. He has recently come into possession of a mirror. This mirror is no ordinary mirror but rather a magical mirror that judges your character. For every mistake you have made in your life, the mirror will show a blemish. Anyone wishing to marry the king must first look into the mirror.”

All the women refused to look into the mirror, except for one. She was an ordinary girl from an ordinary family, yet she was not afraid to stand in front of the mirror. When the secretary asked if she was sure she wanted to see these blemishes, the girl said, “Why should I be afraid? We all have made mistakes, and we all can be forgiven and improve from those mistakes.” The king stood up and said, “This mirror’s magic is not that it shows blemishes, but by coming and standing before the mirror, this woman’s confidence and understanding has won me over.

For most of us, we are often like the hopeful brides in the palace hall — not willing to look at our blemishes. Genuine and honest introspection is often scary introspection, and you have to be ready to face the good, the bad and the ugly. But if we understand, like the ordinary girl in the story, that we all make mistakes and grow from them, then the introspection and the subsequent “self-cleaning” are nothing to fear and can be pretty remarkable.

Much like when we do spring cleaning, honest introspection will inevitably bring all of us to some common realizations. When we reflect on our physical health, we resolve to eat responsibly and exercise harder. When we reflect on our mental well-being, we resolve not to dwell on failure and missed opportunity but instead focus on lessons learned. If we are appropriately self-aware, we may think about our character, decency, integrity, honesty, and selflessness. We may become disheartened by thoughts of those moments when we considered what was good for ourselves before thinking about what might be good for others. Our failures may inspire us to want to change and to set loftier goals.

Just as in spring cleaning, self-spring cleaning requires us first to figure out what we will “throw out”. It may be unhealthy habits, toxic thoughts, or general negativity. Though this is easy to list, it is harder to do. There may also be things that you cannot realistically “throw out”, but you need to change or adapt. However, unlike in spring cleaning, which is just about physical retention, self-spring cleaning requires a more honest and self-reflective approach which means you need to chart a course to reach your character goals.

I have often thought to myself — “I can get angry pretty quickly sometimes” and “I need to understand the other person’s perspective.” But then what? Am I willing to heed the lessons taught by my daughter’s favorite show, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, so that I calm down before I say something regretful? — “When you feel so mad, and you wanna roar, take a deep breath and count to four.” Or am I willing to learn and listen to others’ perspectives and thoughts with an open mind and a willingness to accept their views before imposing mine? I am just saying that there is a need to remove or change something from within, but without a game plan, its no different from purchasing a 3-year gym membership and then never going.

As you go through your belongings and throw things out, you start to see a bit of the fruit of your efforts. You realize how many unnecessary things you have held on to. However, it isn’t until you organize that which remains and remove the clutter that your efforts are fully realized. In your home, the things you need most frequently or are most important are at the forefront, while that which is used rarely ends up in the attic — often to be forgotten.

Self-spring cleaning requires the same decluttering and organization process. Identify your most positive habits and attributes, and keep them at the forefront of your mind and psyche. Likewise, those characteristics which you want to improve upon and imbibe into your life should also be near at hand. As for those traits you may need once in a while, you can keep them boxed up. After organizing your house during spring cleaning, you look around every day and see that things are where they belong, and if they are not, we try to put them back in their proper place. In self-spring cleaning, the organization and placement occur in your mind. Take a few minutes out of your day to introspect on whether the characteristics you want to define yourself are exhibited in all of your actions, and did the ones you want to keep boxed up somehow escape the attic.

A small aside — when going through this process of self-spring cleaning, it is essential to always keep in mind that the goals and path came from within you and are only for you. Be inspired by others, but do not compare yourself to others. Work with others to reach new heights, but do not condition your progress on their success and their plans. The Dalai Lama warned of this type of misguided thinking when he said, “The goal (of introspection) is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self.”

It is undoubtedly true that personal self-spring cleaning is a lot harder, more time consuming, and requires an entirely different level of discipline than spring cleaning at home. Today’s character decisions will not produce a ‘new you’ tomorrow. It is easy to throw away ten pieces of clothing in ten minutes, but to change ten things about ourselves may take ten weeks, ten months, ten years, or even longer. But through daily or frequent introspection, we will be able to minimize our mental, emotional and spiritual clutter and stay on track with the commitments we make to ourselves when self-spring cleaning.

As Swami Vivekanand said, “Talk to yourself once in a day; otherwise, you may miss meeting an intelligent person in this world.” Luckily, I met that person the other day, and he warned me not to mention the vase.

Siddharth Dubal, J.D.
Legal Recruiter