Wiring the Circuit
I remember waking up every day as a child to the gentle sounds of the ghantadi (traditional Indian hand-held bell) ringing and prayers being sung. This daily morning occurrence in my household was the Hindu ritual known as the aarti. The aarti is a form of prayer, accompanied by lighting and waving of the divo (wick), performed in extolled greeting and thanksgiving before the images of God and one’s Guru, reminding devotees of their presence and providence. It is usually performed five times during the day at shikharbaddha mandirs (traditional large, spired Hindu places of worship), with each aarti associated with a specific part of the day’s routine. In my home, as in many others across the globe, the aarti was performed twice daily — once in the morning and evening. Having fond memories of the sights and sounds of this ritual, it marked renewal for each of us, drawing inspiration to take on the day with patience and positivity. It was also a reminder to face the day through value-based thoughts and actions by inviting God and the Guru to guide our day. Similarly, ending the day with this ritual, became an expression of our gratitude for the experiences that came our way.
Growing up, my parents did their best to provide us with all that we needed to thrive. If my siblings and I needed extra help with math or reading, Kumon classes and workbooks were introduced. My parents arranged play dates, sleepovers, and field trips so that we could connect with the other children and develop meaningful friendships. I am thankful for the resources they provided in enabling my social, academic, and emotional growth. However, I am most grateful for the seeds of spirituality that my parents planted in me by taking me to the mandir every Sunday and introducing me to spiritual practices such as the aarti, thaal (offering of prepared food to the images of God and gurus prior to partaking in one’s meals) and gharsabha (daily dedicated family time) which I now realize have had the biggest impact on my life. Spirituality is often disregarded due to its inability to provide immediate and tangible benefits. However, looking back, it was these daily spiritual practices which fostered connections with my family, faith, God, and guru, and the inspirations I drew from them, that has proven to be the most grounding factor in my life.
Dr. Becky Kennedy in her book, Good Inside, writes: “We all, at every age, have difficult moments when we behave in ways that are less than ideal. But our early years are especially powerful, because our bodies are beginning to wire how we think about and respond to difficult moments, based on how our parents think about and respond to difficult situations.”
I recall a time when I was studying for my Occupational Therapy board exams. I had put in a tremendous amount of effort into this endeavor, yet I could not shake off the anxiety that had begun to overtake me. No matter what I did, the thought of failure lingered. I needed a pause, a reset. I took some time to disconnect and reflect inward on how I can change this recurring negative thought. When I did, I was reminded of my late guru Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s guidance for success:
Hard Work + Prayer = Success
I was already putting in countless hours of studying and practice, but what I needed to rely on was the strength of prayer and faith. So, each day during the morning and evening aarti, I began to pray for wisdom, strength, and humility. I expanded this spiritual routine to praying each time before I began to study. This calmed me. It provided me with the peaceful reminder that I was sincerely doing everything I possibly could. I was not alone. My guru was with me. Test anxiety can become crippling; however, by relying on the spiritual practices of my childhood and the teachings of my Guru, I was able to persevere and let faith be my guide in navigating one of the most trying times of my life.
Everyone experiences various difficult moments in their lives. The goal isn’t to avoid such circumstances, but as I have now come to appreciate through my own parents, it is to find the grounding force that enables one to appreciate all of life — its challenges and triumphs. As a parent now to a 7-month-old daughter, I think about how I too can help her do the same.
Dr. Kennedy emphasizes in her book, “We essentially want to help our children develop an internal circuitry where they feel good inside, feel valuable, lovable, and worthy even when they struggle.” As I reflect on this thought, the words “internal circuitry” really stand out to me. This is how I can define the method I would like to incorporate in my parenting. As my parents had done for me, I also want to plant the seeds of spirituality in my daughter, so that when life throws curveballs her way, her “internal spiritual circuitry” knows exactly how to hit the ball out of the park and remain feeling confident in her decisions. And the way to power this spiritual circuitry is through introducing daily spiritual practices from a young age, as the aarti was introduced to me.
As a new parent my days are often hectic, as I try to balance a professional career and family commitments. I often wonder, what can we possibly ‘cut out’ today to reduce the stress and strain in managing it all. And in considering all the things we possibly could, my husband and I are clear on one thing: we cannot cut our daily spiritual practices which will lay the foundation for our child’s long-term mental and emotional wellbeing. Hence, we’ve committed to doing the aarti together as a family at least once a day. Sure, our daughter is young, but we still enjoy her smiles and coos as she watches us light the divo and hears the ghantadi and the accompanying prayer sung with devotion and admiration. We know in those moments, we’re planting our own seeds, or wiring her internal spiritual circuitry that will serve as her grounding force, just as my parents had once done for me.
Nidhi Patel, Robbinsville, NJ
Occupational Therapist
