“Hey, James?” someone was calling him as he was walking to his next class. He turned around to see a young woman walking towards him, a sly smile on her face as she came to a stop in front of him.
A beautiful smile complimented her curvaceous body. Her long, wavy hair cascaded down her back in soft waves, and her big, doe-like eyes sparkled with mischief. She had full lips that curved upwards in a mischievous grin. Her skin was smooth and flawless, and she moved with a graceful confidence that was impossible to ignore.
“James, right?” she asked, twirling a strand of dark hair around her finger and biting her lips.
James nodded, feeling a little confused like he woke up from nineteen hours of sleep. He recognized Jane from class, anyone in the college knew her. The definition of beauty has her name written on it.
“I’m Jane,” she said, holding out her hand.
James shook her hand, it was like two hundred thousand Watts of Electricity running through his body. He felt a little out of his depth.
“We are in the same class,” she said, gesturing towards the building they were both headed to.
“Oh, right,” he said, smiling, pretending he did not know who she was, shocker! “I remember you now.”
She leaned closer to him, her scent filling his nostrils. “Oh, the famous James knows me? I am flattered” her voice low and seductive.
She laughed a husky sound and brushed her hand against his arm. James felt his cheeks flush.
“Sooo, how are you doing?” James gathered all his strength or at least what was left of it. His eyes were glued to the ground while his hand rubbed his head.
“I’m just really stressed about this exam coming up. I feel like I’m never going to pass.”
“I just don’t get it. I was hoping to get some extra help from the TA, but he’s not very helpful.” She groaned.
James’s mind started racing. He was a natural when it came to many subjects. Maybe he could help her out.
“I’m pretty good at Pathology, do you want me to tutor you?”
She looked up at him, her eyes widening with surprise. “Really? That would be amazing! I don’t know how to thank you.”
Over the next few days and weeks, they spent countless hours learning together Pathology, Parasitology, Microbiology, Immunology, etc... They met up in the library, in the cafeteria, and even in James’s dormitory room. Jane seemed to be making progress, and she was grateful for his help.
James grew up in Tuleeni Orphans and Children’s Home with his younger brother. Despite their difficult circumstances, James was determined to make something of himself. He was a naturally gifted student, and he dreamed of going to college and becoming a doctor. After years of hard work and determination, James finally achieved one of his goals. He was accepted into a prestigious university on a full scholarship, and he threw himself into his studies with everything he had. He worked long hours at part-time jobs to support himself and his brother, and he still managed to get straight A’s.
As the weeks went by, Jane started to flirt with James more and more. She would lean in close to him, twirling her hair, and even touch his arm occasionally. He also found Jane attractive, and he liked spending time with her, ignoring all the “rumors” about her on campus. James learned about Jane’s background, growing up in a small village in Tukuyu, Mbeya. He felt connected to her in some ways.
One day, after a particularly long study session, Jane looked up at James with a smile.
“You know, James,” she said, playing with her necklace.
“You’re not like other guys I’ve met. You’re smart, funny, and really sweet.”
James felt a rush of excitement. Was Jane flirting with him? “Thanks, jane,” he said, feeling a little bashful.
Jane leaned in closer to him, her eyes sparkling. “You know, I’ve been thinking,” she said, biting her lip.
“Maybe we could be more than just study buddies.”
James felt his heart rate quicken. Was she asking him out? He had never had a girlfriend before, and he wasn’t sure how to respond.
Jane was a wild and scandalous young woman, a city girl, outside was her playground. James was drawn to her, despite his better judgment. They started dating.
Jane tried as much as possible to not draw James to her other side of life. His love for her was genuine, this time it was for her too. The only thing that prevented her from settling down was that James had everything to offer her except money which she is very accustomed to them by now. She needed money to maintain her hard-earned-slay-queen status.
One particular Saturday, while James was sitting on the couch, his nose buried in a textbook. Jane walked in She could see the stress etched on his face, and for a moment, she hesitated. But then she took a deep breath and walked over to him.
“James, I need to talk to you,” she said, her voice shaking.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, looking up at her with concern.
“I…I took a pregnancy test today,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “And it came out positive. We’re going to have a baby.”
For a moment, there was silence as James processed the news. Then he slowly stood up and wrapped his arms around Jane.
“Oh my God,” he whispered, holding her tightly. “We’re going to be parents.”
Jane felt a wave of relief wash over her as she felt James’s embrace. James was thrilled about the prospect of becoming a father, but he couldn’t help feeling scared and uncertain about their future. They were both still students, with limited financial resources and no real idea of how they were going to support a child.
It was a sunny Tuesday, James and Jane went to their first prenatal appointment together, excited to hear their baby’s heartbeat and see their growing child on the ultrasound. But the joy they felt was short-lived when the doctor delivered some unexpected news.
“I’m sorry to tell you this,” the doctor said, looking at the results of their blood tests. “But both of you have tested positive for HIV.”
They felt as though the world was crumbling around them. They had always been “so careful”, using protection and getting tested regularly. They couldn’t believe that this was happening to them.
As the reality of their diagnosis set in, Jane couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. She knew that she had been reckless in the past, having had many sexual partners before she and James had gotten together. She couldn’t bear the thought that her actions might have been what had caused them both to contract HIV.
She cried and apologized to James over and over again, telling him how sorry she was that he had to go through this because of her. But James was quick to reassure her, telling her that it wasn’t her fault and that they were in this together.
“It doesn’t matter how we got it,” he told her. “What matters is that we’re going to fight this together, and we’re going to be there for each other every step of the way.”
And with those words, she felt a glimmer of hope. She knew that they had a difficult road ahead of them, but she also knew that they were strong enough to face it together.
James' brother’s visit to the hospital should have lifted his spirits, but instead, it left him feeling even more despondent. As they talked, James could see the disappointment in his brother’s eyes, a silent judgment for the choices that had led to James’s current predicament. He felt as though he had let down not only his brother but also their deceased parents. Or all this could just be in his head.
James’s mind was clouded with regret and self-doubt. He couldn’t help but think back to the decisions he had made, the moments when he had ignored the warnings and given in temptation. He knew that he had been reckless and foolish, and now he was paying the price for his mistakes.
His brother tried to console him, to reassure him that he was loved and valued, but James couldn’t shake the feeling of shame and guilt that gnawed at him. He felt like he had failed everyone who had ever believed in him, including himself.
As his brother left the hospital room, James was left alone with his thoughts. He lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, and tried to find a way to make things right. He knew that he couldn’t change the past.
James sat on the edge of his hospital bed, his eyes fixed on the window across the room. He felt a weight in his chest, a heaviness that seemed to grow with each passing day. Picked a pen and paper and wrote a letter to his son
Dear Son,
As you turn four today, I wish I could begin this letter with words of joy and celebration, but unfortunately, that is not our reality. Instead, I must start with a heavy heart, as we face the difficult truth that you were born with HIV.
I want you to know that I am so sorry for the burden that you have been given. I wish that I could take away your pain, that I could shield you from the challenges that lie ahead. But unfortunately, I cannot.
As I write this letter, tears stream down my face. It pains me to know that I won’t be around to see you grow up, to be there for you when you need me, and to watch you become the amazing person I know you will be. But I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you.
I know that life hasn’t been easy for you. But you are strong and brave, and you have already shown me so much resilience in your short life.
I know that there will be times when you feel scared, angry, or frustrated. There will be times when you wonder why this had to happen to you when you feel like giving up. But I want you to know that you are strong and brave, and capable of overcoming anything.
You have so much to offer the world, my son. You have a beautiful heart, a sharp mind, and a spirit that shines bright. And while this illness may be a part of your story, it does not define who you are.
I am writing this letter to you now, while you are still so young because I want you to know that I am here for you(At least in spirit). I will be there to answer your questions, comfort you when you are sad, and help you find your way in this world.
I want you to know that your mom is an incredible woman. She loves you more than anything in this world, and will always do everything in her power to make sure you are safe, happy, and healthy. Your grandma too, loves you so much.
I know that it won’t be easy for you to grow up without me there to guide you, but I have faith in you. I know that you will make me (and yourself) proud and that you will accomplish great things. And no matter where life takes you, always remember that I love you, and I will always be with you in spirit.
I love you more than words can express, my sweet son. You are a precious gift to this world, and I am honored to be your father.I wish I could convey how sorry I am to see you grow up without a father, growing up without one made myself a promise to never let that happen to you. I am sorry I failed
With all my heart,
Dad
The paper was wet from tears, he was crying, hands shaking. James walked out of the window on the fifth floor with a bed sheet on his neck like a scarf.
NB: There is probably a longer version of this somewhere…. But the theme here is “short” stories.
