Besides the obvious benefits of being the Champ:

(1) Being called the Champ

(2) Being admired, loved, envied, loathed and respected by all other owners, and

(3) Collecting a huge bounty,

Our Constitution grants the Champ the power to make many decisions for our upcoming Auction (and gives other owners many responsibilities):

(1) The Auction Day beer will be selected by the reigning Champ — The Champ has selected a keg of Schlafly Pale Ale and all additional kegs shall be Bud Heavy (sorry to all of you weak a$$ owners who can’t handle fully leaded beer). — Bottom Four (Crew, Streak, Squirrels and Pals)

(2) One bottle of liquor and two mixers chosen by the Champ — The Champ has chosen Gin (Beefeater or Sapphire) with Pimm’s and Tonic — 9th place (Pastries)

(3) Special snack treats chosen by the reigning Champ (which may include a chocolate fountain with at least 10 dipping items) for all owners to enjoy — The Champ has chosen Peanut M+Ms, King Dons, Zapp’s Jalapeno (or other various flavors) potato chips, grands cinnamon rolls, eskimo pies, ice cream cake, honey roasted peanuts, starburst, jolly ranchers, Twinkies, Little Debbie Oatmeal Pies, Peeps, Chili Cheese Fritos, Cheetos, pistachios, totino’s pizza rolls (favorites in bold and rest are just suggestions) — 11th place (Streak)

(4) Ingredients for shots chosen by the reigning Champ for all owners to enjoy during the Childish Drinking Games — The Champ has chosen Fireball — 12th place (Squirrels)

(5) A huge cooler full of beer, water and soft drinks chosen by the reigning Champ for all owners — The Champ has chosen PBR, Sam Adams, Dr. Pepper, R.C. Cola and Squirt (no comments please) — 13th place (Pals)

[Please note that the 10th place owner (Crew) must bring $50 for beer girls]

The Champ has already informed me that his demands for next year’s Auction will be even more outrageous!

Finally, please note the other responsibilities for the Auction:

7th place owner (BMO) — 20% of the Auction Day lunch bill on Saturday for all owners and bring no less than three dozen peeps

8th place owner (Meat) — 35% of the Auction Day lunch bill on Saturday for all owners and deliver no less than three dozen donuts and hot coffee (with cream and sugar)

9th place owner (Pastries) — 45% of the Auction Day lunch bill on Saturday for all owners

Faithfully submitted,

EAC

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