They Like Me, They Like Me Not: Office Edition
Part of the #BasicAndBusy Blog Series
Alternate Titles:
- Dangers of Micro-Analyzing Every Grunt, Snort, and Sigh
- Did she just twitch at me? *runs to bathroom and cries*
Tl;dr — Assume people think of you in a positive light until you have direct verbal or written confirmation that they do not:
- People always think people hate them
“F***, I’m 165% sure Becky from the Austin office thinks I’m worthless. She had me order lunch twice last week AND didn’t let me go to the SteerCo. meeting”
Idk if it’s just me, or being a woman, or whatever (ok just me?), but it’s really easy to assume people disapprove of you in work situations when you meet new people because you’re stressed. This is a problem because: 1)you’re usually wrong 2)it hurts your willingness to form relationships and share ideas.
2. Stop thinking people hate you
This one is pretty simple, but yea stop it. And maybe hate is a strong word, but stop feeling so consciously or unconsciously judged all the time.
3. Assume people like you… barring you’re not a psychopath
Assume Ricky and Bobby want you to go to lunch with them and tag along. Assume Ashley respects your opinion and thinks you provide valuable input. Assume people somewhat enjoy the things you say and try to engage them in conversation outside of your forced work interactions. It’s so easy to think “ah, they’re so busy I won’t bother them by asking how their day is going” or “those two are probably having a life chat so I won’t join them”, but you’re just creating this horrible echo chamber cocoon. Even if people don’t necessarily actively include you, your distancing yourself is only making it worse.
That being said, if people are actively distancing themselves from you after multiple attempts, stop or take it slower…. LOL JK PPL LOVE YOU.
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Ummmm, yea so let me know how your newfound bravery goes… hope you don’t get ostracized and emotionally scarred for life …
*upside down smiley*
