7 Principles of Core Conversations — how to have the best conversations with those seeking support
Do you provide support to people who need it most? Perhaps you’re a social welfare advisor or social worker? Maybe you work in a food bank or in another frontline support service?
If so, you’re probably well aware of the importance of building genuine rapport and trust with the people you aim to support. And chances are, given you’ve chosen to be in this line of work, you’re probably very good at it.
Over the last year, we’ve worked closely with over 150 front line service providers as part of the Newham Social Welfare Alliance, to understand how best to go about these conversations. The group was made up of community workers, council workers, foodbank volunteers, and those working in charities and faith based organisations. From them, we’ve gained invaluable insights into how to build trust and rapport with vulnerable individuals — and we want to share this with you! They identified 7 core principles. Together, these are a really useful way of thinking about how to have great conversations.
We, at Basis have turned these principles into an acronym, ‘CHAPTER’:
Comfortable
Ensure people have a comfortable, not rushed conversation.
Hands
Get something into their hands, such as a flyer or paper with your number.
Assumptions
Try to avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.
Personal
This is a conversation between people; a real human to human interaction with empathy.
Take Ownership
Allow and enable the other person to take/retain ownership of their situation.
Explore
Explore, actively listen and prompt for the person to tell their story.
Relationship
It’s not just about one meeting; follow-up and maintain the relationship.
The basic principles are outlined above, but let’s delve into a little more depth.
Comfortable
It’s never a good feeling to think you’re being rushed in a conversation. Or to feel as if you’re not being heard. Worse yet, it’s hard to feel comfortable if someone seems distracted when talking to you. So this is where the principle of ‘comfort’ comes in. It’s vital that the people who you’re talking to feel really comfortable in your presence.
When people feel at ease, conversations will flow better.
Hands
Often, people seeking support are feeling quite overwhelmed. Experiencing stress can make it hard for people to take in lots of information at once. And that’s where our next core principle comes in — get something into the ‘hands’ of the people you’re supporting. It could be a flyer signposting appropriate services or a piece of paper with how to get hold of you for further support. By leaving the conversation with something physical, an opportunity is provided for them to re-engage with support information or re-establish contact for questions or support.
Assumptions
You’ll know from your experiences working with residents how important it is to avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions about people. We often think we know things or make assumptions about people just based on just a short interaction, but this is seldom true. Everyone is unique with their own lived experiences. Getting to know the person you’re supporting gradually through what they share with you, not just your first impressions about them, is vital. It’s most helpful to enquire genuinely and express empathy.
Personal
This principle is a reminder of the value of bringing your genuine self to every interaction. You can still keep the conversation initially light, a bit of chit chat is fine! Try to build a connection — there might well be things you have in common. Share something about your own life or who you are. It’s best to avoid coming across as interrogative, ensure that people know what they say will be treated confidentially and use jargon-free language.
Take ownership
Many of us feel the need to take care of someone in need. It’s easy to say ‘don’t worry, I’ll take care of it’, when in reality we might not have all the answers and solutions. A better approach is to let the individual know that you’re joining them to help figure out solutions. The feeling that they are not alone in figuring this out is an enormous relief to people. However, the person themselves should be empowered and remain the owner of their situation — you offer them the tools and advice which they can choose to ignore or take up.
Explore
Many people are dealing with various issues and deeper underlying problems than the one they present with. It can be hard to find out about all their needs at once. Once you satisfy an immediate need (e.g. food, clothes), and build up trust and rapport, you’ll be in a better position to explore how else you might be able to offer support. Start with what you can easily solve and then explore from there!
Relationship
In line with the principle above, you don’t have to solve all of their problems in one meeting, it’s important to follow-up and maintain the relationship. Keep the relationship going through things like quick informal check-ins to help build understanding and trust. For any follow up, try not to be vague about the time and place/tool to reconnect. If people express this themselves or write it down, it’s more likely that they will connect again. Do try to establish a link for continuity, even if you are a little pushy (in a friendly way) — this will benefit the resident in the long run!
With these 7 principles, you have the foundation of how to have a great core conversation. But, of course, there’s many more things to mention. And more importantly, it’s not just knowing it, it’s being able to do it — practice makes perfect! Our training session “Core Conversations” gives an intro and an opportunity to refine professionals skills in having these crucial conversations. And, of course, with each session we learn a little more from those who join us — and update the principles accordingly! You can find out more about the training and how to book your place here.
In the meantime, if you fancy having a conversation about any of this, drop us a line at max.goodall@basis.co.uk.
