BREAKING TRADE: Adrian Wojnarowski Exchanges Dignity for NBA Trade Scoops

The Kim Kardashian of NBA reporting, Seemingly no Real Talent, Still Manages to be Famous

NEW YORK— Adrian Wojnarowski, also known as “Woj”, is considered the biggest NBA scooper. Many marvel at his ability to get a story before anyone else and wonder how he does it, but during a recent interview he finally revealed his secret.

“If anyone gives me information about trades or signings, I promise them free foot massages” explained Woj. “I have really strong hands, in fact I was even thinking of becoming a therapist, but ultimately I took my talents to the NBA where they have served me well.”

He went on to give an example using a recent trade. “So I broke the Suns sending PJ Tucker to the Raptors. How? Well, Suns GM Ryan McDonough LOVES my massages. He told me about the trade before he told Tucker. It only cost me half a dozen foot rubs”

Wojnarowski admits the work he does can be undignified at times and accepts it comes with the territory.

“This deadline wasn’t too bad. The costliest scoop I had was breaking the news that Lebron James was going to sign with Miami in 2010. I had to rub down a different kind of appendage to get that info, if you know what I mean.”