Leadership. What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Mary Lou Panzano, V.P. & Head of U.S. Internal Communications, Bayer U.S.
When most people think about leadership, one word that probably doesn’t come to mind is, “love.” I wouldn’t have thought so either, until a few months ago.
We were in the home stretch of an incredibly challenging, exciting and busy year at Bayer, where I work. There were only two days left in the office for me before heading out for some R&R over the holidays, and the list of things to finish up was long.
That’s when it happened. My team showed me the love!
I’ll share that story in a minute, but first, I’ll go back a few months to when a colleague interviewed me for a leadership program she was participating in that’s sponsored by our company. She asked me what I thought were the most important qualities of a leader.
Here’s what I shared with her then and why I would add “love” to that list now.
1. Listen. Listening is a real skill. And it’s one that’s becoming not only harder to do, but also harder to find as a quality in others with all the distractions around us.
I’m willing to bet anyone reading this has either texted, typed, or talked over someone who was trying to talk with you. I’ve done that. We don’t mean to, but it’s easy to get torn away from real listening.
Part of the work I do in leading employee communications is to listen to what’s going on, question, probe and clarify. With that, I can better counsel partners on the best options to achieve their goals.
I have two ears and one mouth, and I try to use them in that proportion. But, it’s not easy. I really have to work at it. But, it’s also something others have told me I’m really good at. Even so, I focus on it because it’s that important.
2. Learn. Leaders are lifetime learners and avid readers. They pay attention to what’s going on in the world and what’s happening in their field of interest. They learn from their mistakes, watch others and learn from theirs. I’ve been an employee communications professional for more than 25 years, and I learn something new every day — on most days, more than one thing. Continuous learning helps elevate your thinking, broaden your perspective and enhance your leadership skills.
3. Let Go. This one is really hard for me. I’m a bit of a control freak — ask anyone who knows me. I also happen to be a Virgo, so I want everything to be perfect. Delegating and watching others do things differently than I would is challenging. But as a leader I know I can’t do everything and lead well, too.
I recently attended an excellent leadership program with my team that Bayer sponsored at Gettysburg. Our facilitator was a fascinating man — a military historian, retired U.S. Army Colonel and a heck of a story teller. One of the many leadership lessons I learned from him which resonated with me the most was “flying at a different altitude.”
What does that mean?
It means as a leader, sometimes you have to take the lead and be out in front, driving and directing your team. Other times you need to be in the middle of the pack, right there with your team making things happen. And sometimes you need to be in the back, observing and watching your team work its magic — or not — so you can either encourage and ignite them, or course correct.
The trick is to recognize where you need to be when and why, and fly at the right altitude so your team can perform at its best and so you can play the right leadership role at the right time.
It’s important to let go and let your team grow, develop, experiment, do things their way, and see if they succeed or fail. What’s important is that they know the goal, that you’ve got their back — whether they win or lose — and that you’re there when they need you.
4. Love. This is the one most people would not consider a leadership quality, and one I’d add to the list I shared months ago in that interview. Here’s why.
First, you need to love what you do and love why you do it. It’s no fun to spend most of your waking hours doing something you don’t want to do. Find your passion, what you’re good at and what you love, and find a way to make a living doing it.
Second, love who you work with. OK, not everyone gets to pick the people they work with; I get that.
What I’m talking about is the kind of love you can show when you do simple things like, say please and thank you; acknowledge people and tell them they’re valued; be straight with people when they need feedback, and be constructive rather than critical; respond when someone reaches out; give your team assignments that stretch them where they want to grow and develop; be kind and generous.
This kind of love sounds like what many of us were taught growing up. But I’ve found these simple things still make a difference today because some people don’t do them often — if at all. So when someone does, it’s noticed.
When you show that kind of love and lead with heart, I’ve found it helps you build a following as a leader of people who would jump through hoops for you and that helps you and your team succeed. P.S., this works in your personal life, too! Besides, it feels good, is more fun, and makes people want to be in your world, and it’s one way I feel like I am making a difference.
Now I’d like to come back to that story of when my team showed me the love.
It was right before I was heading out for Christmas vacation, and it was one of those days!
My team ambushed a 1-on-1 meeting I usually have with one my direct reports. They Skyped in one of my team members from Pittsburgh to join us virtually. That should have been the first clue that something was up.
They gathered around and presented me with a framed “Leader” poster they all signed with notes of appreciation for me as their leader.
Wait, what?
I had never gotten a gift like that before and didn’t really know how to react. I was shocked, surprised, honored, humbled, overwhelmed and teary-eyed all at the same time. I could hardly speak — that’s not something I typically have a problem doing!
I started reading their personal notes, and just couldn’t finish because I was so overwhelmed with their heart-felt sentiments. When I got the poster home and found a quiet moment to read their comments closely, I got weepy again.
I like to think I show love in lots of ways as often as I can. When my team showed me the love with that gift, it was such a special moment. They’ll never really know how much their gift of love means to me.
Funny thing, I looked at the poster again as I was penning this blog and noticed that my team independently referred to some of the leadership qualities I shared during that interview months earlier. That’s pretty cool!
On a day like Valentine’s Day, when love becomes more central and celebrated across America, it felt like a good time to elevate this quality as one important thing to consider looking for in leaders and appreciating more when you find it. My team did for me.
