Coffee, you’re on the bench. Wine, suit up.
Last year was a very busy year for S and me. After jet setting for most of 2015, we had a very tame first half of 2016. Our next big trip was planned for October, and as a gal who needs a vacation every quarter, I was losing my mind. One of the things that I always appreciated about living in DC was the ease of getting around. Unlike in Louisiana, if you drive in any direction for 30 minutes, you’re in a different state — and bonus points because that state won’t be Texas or Mississippi. Well, I say that as if DC is a state too, but really it’s just a little bubble.
I digress.
We decided that Memorial Day weekend would be a great time for a quick trip somewhere. We’re not really shore people, but ruled out a trip down the shore because beach water is supposed to be warm. Eventually we landed on a trip to Charlottesville, Virginia. We planned to drive down, check out Monticello, try beer from a local brewery, visit some vineyards, see UVA, and get brunch (because we never miss a brunch).
Did you know that Virginia wine is a thing? I did, but it’s really hit or miss, and it’s pretty expensive.
Driving to Charlottesville was literally like being in a Disney movie. All of a sudden we were in the country. There were hills and trees and silence. It was a lovely drive through the Blue Ridge Mountains. Everything was so green and beautiful. It was like a tiny Napa or Tuscany. Emphasis on tiny. More on Napa and Tuscany later…
So our first stop was Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s house. This is where I realized that Thomas Jefferson was kind of a dick. I won’t ruin it for you, but if you go, take the tour and learn about some of the ratchet stuff that he did. We weren’t really impressed with Monticello to be quite honest. I think that most people love it, but most people haven’t been to Versailles or The Breakers — where there’s platinum wallpaper (more on that later). Would I recommend it? Sure, it’s cheap, and you can’t beat the view. If you go, and especially if you go during a holiday weekend, make a reservation online. Since we just showed up, we had to wait two hours for our tour. There are a few things on the property that you can do while waiting, and they also have a lovely cafe that has some of the best cookies, and tons of local beers and ciders.
After checking into our luxury suite at the Holiday Inn… Ok, so I obviously have a thing about hotels, and we had to stay at this one because everything else was booked. They did upgrade us to a suite, which was surprisingly not bad for a Holiday Inn. Unfortunately, the room didn’t have trash cans, and we never thought to ask for them. Even after leaving piles of Kleenex everywhere and having the room cleaned, they never gave us a damn trash can. While I have always been curious about how much Kleenex and cotton balls I go through on a daily basis, not cool.
For our first night, we had dinner at one of the local breweries, South Street Brewery. Now, there are definitely better breweries that you should check out if you have the time, but we chose this one because we wanted a reservation, and we wanted a place that had food — not food truck food — real food. The Yelp reviews were meh, but we gave it a shot and were not disappointed! Their beer selection changes, but we each did the half flight, where you choose either the 6 beers on the left or right side of the menu. My favorite was a sour beer that they had. I can’t remember the name, and it’s not on their menu anymore, but we ended up buying a six pack to take back to the room. What really stood out was the food! The Wisconsin White Cheddar Cheese Curds were literally the most delicious things that I’ve ever put in my mouth. Although, there are few cheeses that I don’t like, this was almost like a lighter mozzarella. It sounds boring, but they were lightly beer battered and had a dipping sauce made of my two favorite things: Ranch and Sriracha. I could have had that entire plate as my meal, but instead I went for their charcuterie board, which was also delicious but nothing special. After eating a dinner that consisted mainly of cheese, I decided to drink my dessert and ordered a beer that tasted like chocolate.
On to the next day.
We had to wake up stupid early for our winery tour. It started at 9:30, which is definitely pre-brunch. We booked our tour with Wish Wish Wine Tours. Now look, there are tons of car services that will drive you around, but they’re super expensive if it’s just two of you. There are different wine tours that you can take, and they depend on the day that you want to go. We did ours on a Sunday, so we did the “Barboursville Tour.” It was $79 a person for 5 hours. This did not include tipping the driver or the tasting fees. We also had to pay for lunch, but we were able to order and pay through their website. At some point during the day, our driver picked up our lunch. If you want to be super prepared, unlike us, you can bring your own lunch. Also, I recommend bringing a box or a bag for all the wine that you end up buying. Lucky for us, our driver had an extra bag.
What really made this experience fun was pure coincidence. There were 13 of us in the van, and everyone was late 20s/early 30s and from DC. They were looking to escape the city for the long weekend too! We actually made a lot of friends, because that’s generally what happens when you start drinking at 10am. I can only imagine the types of things that our driver has heard throughout his career of driving drunk people around to get drunker.
First Stop: Reynard Florence — By far one of my favorite wineries ever. This winery was literally like being in someone’s house. Also included was a super fat corgi! The owners were incredibly laid back, and the pours were very generous so that you could actually make a decision on whether you liked the wine or not. I think that we tasted 8 wines, and everyone was lit AF by the time we left. Some of my favorites were the Voignier, Cabernet Franc, and Petit Verdot. My ultimate favorite was the Voignier. It had just the right amount of fruit and minerality. It actually felt like it was sparkling. If you like Sauvignon Blanc but want something a bit drier, try a Voignier.
Second Stop: Barboursville — AKA the most overrated and expensive vineyard in all of Virginia. We actually almost stayed here, and I’m so glad that we didn’t. This place is pretentious AF, and the wine tasting was like herding cattle. We tasted 21 wines, which was just ridiculous. Their award-winning Octagon was not on the list. The pours were tiny, and if you wanted to re-taste something, you had to get back in line. We couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Apparently some of their grapes come from Italy, but don’t be fooled — this place is not that great. We did end up leaving with a bottle of their un-oaked Chardonnay. While I like some of my wines to taste like licking a tree, S does not, so you can’t watch him sip Chardonnay-nay. We do agree on a nice un-oaked Chardonnay from time to time, and this one was a solid choice. Barboursville let us keep our tasting glasses, which were too small and annoying to keep, so they promptly went into the trash.
Pause for lunch: While we were being herded around the tasting room, our driver picked up our lunch. This was where Wish Wish fell short, but they did make it up in the end. They get their lunches from a local cafe, and you’ll have the option to choose a sandwich, dessert, and drink from their website if you choose. Unfortunately, S’s order got messed up. He only received his drink and dessert. Luckily the sandwich that I ordered was huge, so we ended up sharing and being nice and full (and perhaps a bit more sober). Lunch was $17 a person, though, and Wish Wish gave us a full refund. Well done!
Third stop: Castle Hill Cider — This is where you learn that everything that you think you know about cider is wrong. I hated this place. The orchard is absolutely gorgeous, but the cider is disgusting. It’s also very confusing as to where you actually pay for the tasting. There are multiple rooms and bars where you can do your tasting. We opted for the outdoor bar since it was gorgeous outside. We tasted 7 ciders, ranging from very dry to very sweet. I have nothing nice to say about their ciders. I’ll stick to my Stella Cidre please.
At this point in the trip, we were wasted. There was no swishing or swirling happening, and our wine notes went from adjectives to emojis. It was 3pm.
Final stop: Keswick — To be quite honest, we were too drunk to care. Everything here was very expensive (this tasting was the most expensive as well), and nothing that we tasted compared to what we had at Reynard Florence. We went through the motions and tasted 6 wines. The last wine wasn’t real wine. It was actually cabernet-infused chocolate sauce. Oh my God, it could have been the fact that we were already drunk, but this was delicious. Also, it way too dangerous to buy, so we left and sat outside and ate crackers with our new BFFs.
The ride back to Charlottesville was interesting to say the least. Everyone was drunk, and the driver put on some awesome music. Our wine van was now the karaoke van, and we were on FIYA. S and I had a dinner reservation for much later, so we decided to check out the “open air mall” with two people with whom we’d met on the tour. I don’t know why they call it an “open air mall.” It’s literally just a bunch of bars, shops, and restaurants in an area closed to traffic. We ended up at The Whiskey Jar because we were starting to feel hungover and wanted to keep being drunk. The four of us downed Natty Bohs and whiskey shots, and became best friends with the bartender (Matt, short for Matthew). Eventually S and I drank our friends under the table (as Gallaghers often do), and they left.
This is where it gets blurry.
Somehow we managed to get ourselves to dinner. I sang Justin Beiber the entire Uber ride there. I don’t remember where we had dinner, but it was a local chain. The drinking continued since we were trying to keep our daytime hangovers at bay. We walked back to our giant suite at the Holiday Inn, and I seriously have no idea how we did that. We passed out promptly, in our clothes, at 8pm.
Wine tasting is not for the weak.
The next morning, we checked out and grabbed brunch. We drove through what we could of UVA, and made our way back to DC. I want to tell you that I thought UVA was gorgeous, but we didn’t get out of the car. I am sure it’s beautiful.
So to recap:
- Virginia wine is a thing.
- Barboursville is overrated.
- Always trust a winery that comes with a corgi.
- A Gallagher will always win at drinking.
