Here’s an example of a caption on Instagram:
1. “New Year, Same Me. Who are we kidding, right?” — Unknown
2. “My New Years resolution is 1080p.” — Unknown
3. “My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.” — Unknown
4. “This year, my wish is that everyone gets what they deserve in 2019 *laughs maniacally at the camera.*” — Unknown
5. “Here’s to another year of pretending I can stand you all.” — Unknown
6. “I plan to be like Jean Ralphio in 2019 and make my money the old fashioned way *sings* get run over by a Lexuuuuuus!” — Unknown
7. “Your dog doesn’t know that it’s going to be a new year after midnight, ever think about that? No, you didn’t because you only think about yourself.” — Unknown
8. “A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.” — Unknown
9. “Y’all can break your New Year’s resolution, but the gag is, I’m just not going to make one this year.” — Unknown
10. “Sip me baby one more time.” — Unknown
11. “This year, I’m going to tell more people to F-off.” — Unknown
12. “365 new days. 365 new excuses.” — Unknown
13. “Cheers to the people who love us, the losers who lost us, and the lucky bastards who get to meet us this year.” — Unknown
14. “My New Year’s resolution is to remember to write ‘2019’ instead of ‘2019.’” — Unknown
15. “I’m still the same person I was at the beginning of this year, just more highlight.” — Unknown
16. “Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.” — Bill Vaughan
17. “It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.” — William Thomas
18. “May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!” — Joey Adams
19. “Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.” — Unknown
20. “Ever new year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?” — Ogden Nash
21. “You know how I always dread the whole year? Well this time I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” — Charlie Brown
22. “Dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.” — Helen Fielding
23. “YEAR: A period of 365 disappointments.” — Ambrose Bierce
