Webconnex receives massive infusion of buzzwords — plans to disrupt mission statements
April 1, 2016 — Sacramento, CA | For Immediate Release
Today, Webconnex announced that it has closed a massive round of new buzzwords. The new infusion of buzzwords is already at work and is changing the game with the release of Webconnex’s 2.0 version of it’s mission statement. With this new release, out in private beta today, Webconnex is positioned to disrupt the mission statement industry.
The new mission statement is aimed to break through the clutter and think outside the box. The mission statement is a pivot for the innovative company in order to bring brand alignment to its mission-critical goals for its core business. Companies, partners and customers are already declaring it a win-win-win.
Mission Statement 2.0
Our mission is to be the world’s leading mobile-first, socially-focused, customer-centric SAAS platform which focuses on disrupting the cloud-based new economy through its suite of hyper-scalable next generation real-time enterprise-grade ultra responsive frictionless web apps. We aim to disrupt every disruption by thinking differently, pivoting every pivot, and eating our own dog-food with our cloud-computing software.
The Webconnex mission statement just completed a private alpha and is now in public beta until it reaches critical mass and goes viral.
“We wanted to disrupt the mission statement industry. It’s part of our DNA,” said John Russell, VP of Game-Changing Initiatives. “We wanted to think differently. So today we are pivoting our mission statement to streamline to our core mission of disrupting disruptive disruptions.”
When news broke of the new mission statement, customer response was through the roof. Ima Overit, a newly converted customer as a result of the mission, was ecstatic; “This is not just cutting-edge stuff, this is bleeding edge.”
Internally, the new mission statement is making waves. “I think with this new mission statement, we are really taking it to the next level,” said Ashley Mellott, Director of Leveraging Leverage. “It’s a quick win for us that brings a holistic approach to our brand mission.”
For the company, the change is a seamless convergence of low-hanging fruit with a sustainable focus on hyper-local ROI combined with best practices methodology in establishing a new profit center.
“Our prior mission statement was a real pain point for us…it lacked obscurity.” said Eric Knopf, VP of Passionate Paradigm Shifts. “When we broke through the paralysis-by-analysis, we were able to make it pop with best-in-class buzzwords to reach maximum unintelligiblity.”
The mission statement undoubtably makes Webconnex a thoughtleader. By its vertically integrated buzzwords, Webconnex gives customers, brand ambassadors, and key stakeholders visibility into the the blueocean strategy ahead.
Webconnex is planning to release its proprietary mission statement framework API to the general public in Q1 of next year. Developers can seek an early beta invitation to its buzzword API. Doing so, Webconnex will be the first to bring Buzzword As A Service (BAAS) technology to the masses.
About Webconnex
Webconnex is a innovative cloud computing company in the event and fundraising industries that is bringing infinite disruption by its mobile-first, cloud-based, socially-focused, web 3.0 suite of frictionless hyperscalable SAAS apps for the new economy.
(In case you were wondering, this story contained 100 buzzwords)