The Talk

Scene:

Global headquarters for Acme WidgeCo, 18th floor meeting room
Timmy Henderson and Sally Jones, marketing team for WidgeCo, wrap up a meeting with Brllnt marketing director, Melvin Webber.

Sally: “Gee, those were some really great concepts for our upcoming ad campaign, Melvin! We’re going to have a tough time choosing which one to go with.”

Timmy: “Golly, Sally! I’m pretty keen on the one with the vaping monkey!”

Sally: “Me too. I wish it didn’t bring up so many personal issues though.”

Timmy: “What?”

Sally: “What?”

Timmy: “Anyways, these are so great…I just don’t understand where they came from.”

Sally: “What do you mean?”

Timmy: “Like, haven’t you ever wondered how creative concepts, just, like, got here?”

Sally: “Suzy says they get dropped off by a big bird.”

Timmy: *chewing gum*

Sally: “Always from Ohio for some reason. And on Wednesdays.”

Timmy: “And always three at a time, right?”

Sally: “Yeah, so we don’t feel bad getting rid of two of them.”

Timmy: “Ah.”

Sally: “Don’t worry, they usually come back later.”

Timmy: “We shouldn’t talk ab… “

Sally: “Say, Melvin… can I ask you a question?”

Melvin’s attention is interrupted from his impromptu yo-yo tricks — a favored method of his to keep the mind sharp.

Melvin: “Sure, kid. Whatcha got?”

Sally: “Well… you know those ideas that you always bring in here?”

Melvin: “Yes.”

Sally: “The ones that make us laugh, sometimes uncomfortably?”

Timmy: “Just say it!”

Sally: “All right, all right… where do they, ya know, come from?”

Melvin’s yo-yo drops to the floor and slowly rolls into the office kitchen. Timmy and Sally stand motionless.

Melvin: “So I suppose your administrator never gave you the talk?”

Sally: “Who? Suzy? Yeah, the Wednesday Birds and stuff.”

Melvin: “Ha ha ha…marketing departments. So innocent. Gather ‘round. I’m going to tell you. This might get a little graphic.”

Pause for laughter.

Melvin: “When a copywriter and a designer love an idea verrrrrrrrry much, they go into a room and sfgjdfqdhgs spontaeous lkergjnsgjaa post-it notes pgbgeonvuisgs different angles qmgbaognd process npsgnksjarurg stay hydrated ndkang okejsf timer mcsgok dgpsgh arguing vjrwognmbdi high-fives ulghokdngaid and then, 3 weeks later, you have a brand new creative concept!”

Timmy: “Just wow.”

Melvin: “Sometimes it involves a project manager.”

Timmy: “What?!”

Sally spits her coffee out all over the table.

Melvin: “Never mind.”

Sally: “This is very different from the Wednesday Birds.”

Melvin: “I remember when I found out. Hoo boy.”

Timmy: “Yeah, well that’s happening right now for us.”

Melvin: “Noted.”

Sally: “So you do this a lot, huh?”

Melvin: “Yep. It’s what I’m good at.”

Timmy: *muttering* “I suppose someone has to do it.”

Melvin: “This must be very confusing and overwhelming for you right now. And that’s normal.”

Timmy: *chewing gum*

Melvin: “It’s all a natural part of the creative process. You can always talk to us if you have questions.”

Sally: “How about this—you just keep bringing in those creative concepts and we won’t ever ask you where they come from. Ever again. Deal?

Melvin: “Deal.”

Timmy: “Is that your yo-yo over there?”

Melvin: “Is that what that’s called?”