Fiction/Drama/High School
Assumptions — Senior Year — Chapter Forty-Two
Connor Smith
I heard my dad at the front door talking to someone. My bedroom window faced the front yard, and I could get up to see who it was, but right now, I was just too fuckin lazy.
Wait.
Was that Jackson’s voice?
What the fuck, right.
Why the hell would he be here?
Okay, my curiosity was getting the better of me. I closed my history book and peeked out the window. Yep, Jackson was standing on the step leading to our doorway. I tiptoed out of my room so I could hear more clearly what was being said.
“You wanna c’mon in.” My dad’s words slurred together. It sounded like he just wrapped up a good evening with a twelve-pack of beer.
"I, uh, had to ask Connor something about class.”
“Connor, get your ass on out here.” Dad’s booming voice shook the windows of the trailer.
I’d give it a few before I made my appearance. Let’s see what Dad and Jackson had to say.
“How’s football been going?” Dad went right into football.
“Good, sir.”
“You guys gonna carry state this year.”
“We’re gonna try, sir.”
“Connor needed to get himself on the team instead of playing all those damn video games. Connor!” This time, my name was screamed a little louder. I’m sure Tabby heard him from the next lane over.
It was time to make my presence known. I stepped around the corner just in time to watch my dad take another swig of beer. I took a few steps closer until I was standing right behind my dad.
Mine and Jackson’s eyes locked, he was the first one to look away.
Dad took a step back and smacked me on the back of the head. “It’s about fuckin time. What were you doin' back there, playing those fuckin video games again?”
I ruffled my hair where Dad had just left his mark. “No. I was doing homework.”
Dad’s eyes squinted into a glare at me. I was sure he didn’t believe my answer. I could get straight ‘A’s, and this fucker would still think I was a video game player loser.
I guess I’m not worth arguing with this evening because Dad’s attention is back on someone more important, Jackson.
“It was good seeing you again, Jack.” Dad looked back inside, right past me like I wasn’t even there, then back to Jackson again. I gotta get back to..."
I faked a cough but not before I got out, “More beer.”
Dad’s head whipped back around, questioning if I said something or if he heard voices whispering to him.
“That’s cool,” Jackson says, raising his voice a little to take the attention off of me. “I just have to ask Connor a quick question.”
My dad gave a quick wave, then hurried back inside.
I looked back at Jackson after my dad disappeared. “What do you want?”
“I wanted to let you know Levi and JJ, well, mainly Levi, aren’t going to give up.”
I didn’t care anymore. “Whatever.” I’d been down this road so many times with those two, it was just an everyday occurrence.
Why did Jackson look so concerned? What we had—never going there again—situation was over.
Done.
Kaput.
“Connor, you don’t get it. You’re their target now. They’re not bad, but fuck, we know they can get away with a whole hell of a lot of shit.”
Newsflash alert, the entire school knows the elites get away with everything. “Thanks for the info.” I turned to leave, but Jackson grabbed the back of my shirt.
“Just leave it go. Just stay away from them.”
I spun back around. I’m fired up. “Are you afraid I might say something? Might give out your little secret. Are you so worried about what your buddies, your teammates, the ones that love to cause everyone else so much fucking stress every fucking day, are you nervous about what they might think about the night at the lake?”
Tirade over.
Jackson saw where this was going by my ranting, and he stepped away from the moment. “You know what, whatever. I was just trying to help.” Now it was his turn to leave.
Oh, he wasn’t getting away that easily.
“WHY? Why do you care if they fuck me up?” Now I grabbed Jackson to make him stay. “Why, Jackson? Why did you come over here to tell me?” We held each other’s gaze. I could feel my walls begin to crumble. As much as I wanted to not feel anything for him, it was there, eating away at me every day. Like everything else I’d ever wanted in life, Jackson was someone I couldn’t have. “Why?” My whisper was more of a plea than a question.
Jackson broke our stare. He looked down to the ground, all around, everywhere except back at me. “Did you wonder why Levi and JJ haven’t been in the same hallways as you during class change? Did you even think I kept them away because I knew where you would be?” He chuckled to himself. “Fuck, Connor, I kept them away. I was late to almost every fuckin class. Taking a long way around so that they won’t see you. So they wouldn’t get on your shit again.” He shook his head. “Then, what did you do?” Jackson looked back at me.
I shrugged. I had no clue where this was headed.
“You went a different way and set the ball all in motion again. After I got them focused on something else, you had to change your routine.”
“Why would you do that? You don’t want this to happen.”
“I can’t let this happen. Whatever the fuck went on ends now, Connor. You have what—your reputation, your pride—to worry about. Fuck, man, I have my whole fuckin career.” Jackson ran his hands over his face. I could tell he was frustrated.
“I get it. Really, I do.” At this moment, I felt for Jackson. It wasn’t the fact he didn’t want me.
He was scared of wanting me.
Of wanting us.
I understood the pressure he had with his circle of friends.
Jackson ducked his head low again. “I haven’t been with anyone since, you know." He peeked back up at me.
I shook my head. I wanted to see him stumble for words. “No. What?”
Jackson wobbled his head back and forth. “You know. Us.Together.”
“So you haven’t slept with anyone? What about Keisha or the other numerous girls that seem to be ranking higher on the social ladder at school?”
“I mean, blowjobs and shit don’t count. I haven’t fucked anyone.”
I nod once again. Not total commitment, but not being a player either. “Cool. But why? Like you said, we can’t.” I took a step closer. If I leaned forward, our lips would be touching.
“I,” Jackson licked his lips. “I could be…”
I grabbed hold of Jackson’s shirt and pulled him closer. I didn’t give a fuck who saw us here together. I wanted this to happen so freakin bad.
Just one kiss.
Let me know if there is a chance of some day between us.
Jackson took a step back. “I can’t.”
I let my hands fall, and the moment was over. I watched as Jackson walked away.
