Member-only story
Dagger
The Droplets of Pain Are Always Fresh and Deep Red
“Anything for. U”, he wrote on her post. She responded with a heart emoji. He doesn’t know I saw it. Nobody knows but you, my gentle readers.
And there it is: the truth. His heart is hers and that’s that. I’m nothing. It was always like that, wasn’t it?
Why did he make me feel otherwise? I probably wouldn’t have paid any attention to him other than a coworker I saw once in awhile if he hadn’t started it all. If he hadn’t ignited my world on fire with that smile of his, that spark in his eyes.
And after all this time, the pain still stings, less I forget. It felt like a dagger through my heart when I saw that. Again. Fresh droplets of pain. New tears flowing out that I thought had long ago dried up.
Less I forget…
Here I am, still trying to recover from that unexpected whiplash, and hostility, the stranger he had become right before the holidays, when I was grieving my nephew’s death, and needed him to metaphorically hold my hand, if not literally (I certainly would not have opposed that!). But he was angry and punishing me, and I didn’t know why. I felt abandoned in my time of need.
(This is nothing new to me, unfortunately. I guess I was hoping for something new this time. People always leave…
