How I Learned to Say No to Others.

Greg McKeown changed my way of becoming an essentialist.

Ashmeen Kaur
Be Open
5 min readDec 17, 2021

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How to say no to others being Essentialist

Life is always coming up with decision making. Choose the option available. These tiny decisions seem unimportant but actually affect our lives in a way we never think of.

We all heard that we should demarcate between important things or choices and unimportant ones. I assure you even in your 30s most people don’t know it, can’t make the right decisions and I’m one of them till the time I get to know about the book of Essentialism.

I commit an essentialist to do only those things which were important and cut everything else. But to become an essentialist, it’s necessary to define what is important as per you and why?

This book gives you actual thoughts about the essentialism approach towards life with a pursuit discipline of less but better; what’s the best way of managing your life. This explains and focuses on human psychology and important elements that affect our life. Until you don’t know your thoughts about choices, decisions making how you plan to achieve it. It also considers some tips and techniques of Time management and decision making.

Insights from the Book

less but better

1. A choice is an action.

The choice is not something we made, but something we make out of alternative options available. We don’t have control over alternatives, we always have control over what alternative we choose out of. The right choice decides your future path will be success or failure.

It’s very necessary we take plenty of time while making choices, as strategising plans is effective when the right decisions or choices are made. The book demarcates the right approach of choice.

2. Essentialist celebrates the power of choice and don’t recognise it.

The essentialist easily demarcate between when to allow others to make their decision and not to lose their right to choose. Exercising your power of choice not only gives control to your hand, but you drive and decide the path in your own independent way. It’s possible only when we value the power of choice.

3. Working hard is important.

Hard work is the key for every essentialist, but more effort doesn’t yield more results. ‘Less but better’ does. I mean the quality of efforts focussed on the significant areas leads to success. Fewer efforts with proper focus help to cater more growth, which is also known as Smart work.

4. Pareto Principle

Time management technique

We also know this principle as the 80–20 rule and is one of the important techniques of time management which shows 80% of outcomes come out of — 20% of our efforts and 80% of efforts come with 20% results. While prioritizing our tasks, it’s necessary to find out which task gives the maximum output and complete it first and then proceed to other tasks that contribute to hardly 20% outcome.

5. We must add thinking time into our daily schedule.

There is a need to get a blank space for yourself, no doubt how much busy you’re. It is important to make space in your busy life.

For instance, successful people schedule their blank space in their daily calendar. They think about the best way to improve and allow them to create space is more than practice.

When I put in place the same in my life, I want to know my new interest areas and skills which were not known to me. It will give birth to more confidence and multi-person skills.

6. Essentialist knows play sparks exploration in three ways:

a) It enlarge the options available to us.

b) It is an enemy of productivity.

c) It has a positive impact on the n executive function of power as per research by Psychiatrists.

The play has the power to improve everything from personal health to education or an organisation’s ability to innovate. Nothing fires up the brain like play. It’s your choice which play sparks your exploration depending on your personality traits.

7. Essentialists treat Sleep as their asset and protect it as it’s a driver of peak performance.

They make their daily life driven by them in a way of operating with a high level of energy, leading to creativity and problem-solving ability to take life on the right track.

Sleep deficit induces an impairment equal to blood alcohol by 0.1% level: Harvard business review article.

The researchers explained naps can increase creativity. Sleep allows us to relax our mind and body in a manner so that we can achieve more in less time.

For instance, True essentialists work on their sleep habits and use that in the right path to work productively. Jeff Bezos, the Amazon founder, is. One of them.

8. Process of prioritisation

It’s the challenge of filtering the options that all look important. In reality, out of them, only a few are of exceptional value. Inadequate Sleep-deprived our ability to make the prioritisation. Effective Prioritisation helps an essentialist to understand whom to say no and which task needs a yes.

9. 90percent rule

It’s one rule that applied in case of making a choice or dilemma in decision making. Check all options and give the most important criteria for that decision and rank it between 0 to 100. Reject all the options, which have a rate of less than 90. This way you’re able to manage effective decision making.

This method works, and it makes the process of choice based on practicality and logic, which is one way of a smart choice.

10. If it isn’t clear, Yes then it’s a clear no

Ted speaker Derek sivers describe this technique for becoming more selective in choices.

If you’re in a Dilemma (Partially Yes/ No), choose the yes only if you’re sure that it’s 100% yes. Check the details below the video.

11. Malcolm glad well: 10000-hour rule

If you want to excel in any skill, it’s possible if you devote your 10000 focussed hours (20hours per week for 10 years) to master it, considering other factors as well. Expertise attains after a long phase of practice.

Final Thoughts

I assure if you implement some of the above insights from this book in your lifestyle; you join the path of essentialism.

Less, but better, applies to all aspects of life.

90percent rule helps in effective decision making.

Happy Reading!

-ASHMEEN KAUR

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Ashmeen Kaur
Be Open

An Educationist, Freelance writer (Creative thinker) & Sales professional. I love to write about lifestyle, productivity, and relationship.