I wish…

Photo by Neal E. Johnson on Unsplash

I wish our relationship had been as real to you as it was to me.

I wish the idea of deliberately hurting me, hurt you so much you could never even contemplate it.

I wish the idea of accidentally hurting me hurt so much you would do anything to mend it.

I wish you were brave enough to keep your promises.

I wish you were strong enough to speak the truth, and not let others tell a story that made you innocent.

I wish you didn’t think so little of me that you felt it was fine to lie to get your own way.

I wish you hadn’t woven us together so tight I couldn’t get free.

I wish you’d been brave enough to confront your wife, when your marriage was struggling, instead of hiding from that by immersing yourself in me.

I wish you respected me.

I wish you hadn’t stolen from me: all those moments, intimacy, love, that I would never have given if I’d known the truth.

I wish I didn’t still believe we were meant to be.