It’s Okay To Be Scared Sometimes
No One Needs to be Brave All the Time
“Mama, I’m scared .” She implored with tears brimming in her eyes.
“There’s nothing to be scared about sweetheart. You can do it. Let’s be brave, okay?” I cooed, using my best “positive vibes voice” to gently encourage her to face her fears.
I could see her nodding her head slightly, seemingly to assure me that she will try to be brave like how I wanted her to be, yet her sad, faltering face made me feel that I had asked for something colossal from a sensitive little six years old.
It suddenly seemed too much to ask my little girl to “shift” her feelings of fear into a state of bravery just by using a few words and positive thinking skills, which I have learned from various parenting courses online and am eager to put into practice.
After all, the buzzwords for today’s children were grit, resilience, and confidence, and many parents, including myself, were quick to jump onto all the confidence-building bandwagons specially designed for children to ensure that they grow up to be successful.
As I gazed at her tear-stained face, deep into her glistening eyes, I felt like I caught a glimpse into her soul, so sweet and innocent, trying to reach out to me for comfort. I opened my mouth in another attempt to infuse more positivity into the situation, but my words froze in mid-air. I felt my heart aching for her so much. At that moment it dawned on me.
Maybe she didn’t need the big words or concepts aiming to sculpt her into the next successful human.
Maybe the traits of bravery were important for her to navigate the world in the future, but right this moment what she needed were her parents’ gentle words of understanding and unconditional love, no matter what she was feeling.
Maybe it’s time for us to respect how our children have ventured out on their new lives, a journey that sometimes even we adults take with uncertainty and trepidation, without judging their fears and vulnerabilities.
If we are expecting our children or anyone else to magically get over their fears without nurturing them and holding their hand sometimes, we need to go within to re-examine our roles not just as parents, but as fellow humans.
Simply put, we cannot simply demand that children toughen up and suck it up when their feelings get hurt or when they are scared, knowing that they have only begun to experience this new onslaught of emotions. At least not in the way the world has conditioned us grown-ups to believe.
While this article was written in the context of my child, the concept of embracing fear with our hearts, applies to every human, young or old.
When we exhibit fear or lose confidence, we have this unseen expectation to get back on our feet and snap out of that undesirable state as soon as possible, as if it was wrong or unacceptable to be weak or scared at all.
The brave fronts all of us were made to take up in all areas of our lives, including personal growth, relationships, work, or even spiritual paths, have taken its toll on our very existence as humans, as we strive to attain perfection and achieve success in our goals at the expense of our feelings and instincts.
We need to normalize fear as an essential part of life and stop hiding it or beating ourselves up over it.
So, the next time your child, or anyone around you tells you that they’re scared, instead of a pep talk on how to overcome it and be brave, maybe what they really need is a big hug or smile and to hear you say, “It’s okay to be scared sometimes, I’m here .”
Thank you for reading my heartfelt story. ❤️
Please feel free to reach out to me in the comments if this article has helped you in any way!:)
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