Marriage, A Work-in-Progress
If you have been married recently and you already feel that being single is so much easier, then you are right! It is easier to be just single. If you have been married for over a decade then you already understand what my title means.
Standing here and looking back at my childhood days, I realized one thing about marriage and that is, we fall in love with the idea of marriage. But when you get married, BAM!!! It hits you on the face! The idea of marriage and the actual marriage is quite far away from each other.
The idea of marriage is sowed at quite an early age, mostly by the movies. The idea of marriage for me, was two people in love becoming one forever. They get to spend their entire lives together happily ever after. Intricate weddings, tons of gifts, good food, celebrations, friends and family, what’s there not to like about it?
Marriage is the ultimate fulfillment of your love, and it is all roses and lilies.
NO!
What nobody tells you in the movies is that marriage is a continuous work in progress. You must work hard to make it last happily. It is not just on one person; it is on both the people in it.
I like to think of marriage as an antique clock, which looks exquisite, but you need to crank it up to wind it to make it tick-tocking. We have to make a conscious effort to remind ourselves why we got married to that person in the first place.
Life does not get any easier, rather it keeps getting more and more convoluted. In the rut, we forget to pay attention to things that are right in front of our eyes, our spouses. As a result, just like with anything else, even relationships start gathering cobwebs, which if not taken care of immediately, might just lose their spunk forever.
If you think about it, marriage is also like a dish, as in, you need to add some spice to it to give your tongue an adventurous ride, without which it is just going to be bland. So, you have to think of ways by which you can add that spice and bring back the adventure in your relationship. Putting in effort consistently and not taking anything for granted will take your relationship a very long way.
We all want to be happy, and it is easy to be happy. It is a choice that we have to make and change our focus based on it. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like in him or her, focus on what you like. It is quite simple to be happy, but the complex life that we live every day makes simple quite difficult. Sometimes I feel that we just don’t know what simple means anymore.
Sit down with her, sip a glass of wine, listen to music, hold each other’s hands and just look at the starry night sky. All you have to do is tell yourself that your marriage is crucial, and you have to take time out for it, just like you do for other things you consider important. You will be amazed how simple moves can bring back the twinkle in your lives.
Life is complicated enough, so if you can make some part of it a little less complex, then why not give it a shot? What is there to lose? Cut your relationship some slack, we are all humans, nobody is perfect but by putting in effort together, you can make it better.
