Why Do I Look So PREGNANT?!
My IBS-C Story
Background
I am a petite girl.
Always been.
In fact, I buy athleisure in the boys section of department stores because the inseam in women’s in just too long for my stature.
And I would not necessarily call myself an athlete, but I am pretty active. I prefer modes of transportation that involve using my two feet steering me in the right direction, rather than my two hands steering the wheel of a car.
You would honestly think that, with all this said, that my body measurements would be somewhat “proportionate” relative to one another (I do not even know if this is the right way to put what I am trying to say), but no.
I have had realizations throughout time, starting in high school, that I just happened to carry more weight in my abdomen, but I always just attributed it to me being “fat”. There was actually a point in high school where I got myself down to an astonishing 106 pounds after solely eating turkey sandwiches one summer, but my stomach was still fluffy.
I want to quickly emphasize that being petite does not equate to being “skinny”:
Skinny, by definition, means to “have little fat; slim; slender”. Skinny is a term that is very subjective, and can differ from one culture to another.
Petite refers to one’s height and overall stature. One can be petite, but can vary in their physical shape. Petite is also not gender-specific; individuals of any orientation can be categorized as petite. In the scope of the fashion industry, petite refers to anyone who stands at, or below, 5'3. Petite people also, on average, have the following limb lengths:
- Arm length: 51–55cm
- Shoulder-to-shoulder (shoulder width): 31–35cm
- Neck-to-waist: < 37cm
Naturally, there are plenty women that happen to carry more weight in their abdomen. One cause of this could be due to estrogen dominance, a natural form of hormonal imbalance that occurs in women as they start reaching menopause. Women also have a lower metabolic rate compared to men. Both of these causes have been shown to result in decrease in muscle mass, uneven fat distribution, and increase in fat storage.
Women just get the short end of the stick every time, huh?
After graduating in 2018, I reached the peak of my fitness journey (if you want to call it that), and managed to loose a good 4 inches off my waist. My waist was probably the smallest it had ever been in that particular timeframe, but again, relative to everything else, my abdominal area still was a little fluffy.
Now that I reminisce, I don't think I have ever had a flat stomach. Ever.
During adolescence, it is perfectly normal for a child to have abdominal fat, but I was entering my prime, so I knew something was up. Frustration always lingered, because I never truly saw the fruits of my labor, but I got to a point where I just accepted myself and the phases of my body by which it came.
It was not until I went on a girls’ trip to Texas that I started to question if there was a deeper issue seeping through.
August 2021 Texas Trip
We traveled to both Dallas and Houston for a span of ten days. To serve as quick context: because of its geographical location, Texas is known for its good ol’ soul food and Tex-Mex cuisines. Texas cuisine largely stems from its Louisianan and Mexican neighbors. I recently learned farmers and oilfield workers from the neighboring states migrated to the Lone Star State in search for rich and fruitful land across the coast. Popular BBQ dishes in regions of Texas, such as smoked brisket and sausage, originated from German settlers, while dishes carrying a Southern flare hold French ties.
During our escapades, I remember us four making a pact to try anything and everything. From what I remember, I honestly did not each much in terms of frequency, but obviously, we were on vacation, and we all wanted to enjoy ourselves, so naturally, we deviated from our normal diets. We had vegan tacos, chicken n’ waffles, fish n’ grits, vegan mac, slaps of turkey, desserts for days, you name it.
You know what they say: when in Rome, do what the Romans do.
As the days progressed, I remember just feeling more and more bloated. I first attributed it to the commencement of my monthly mensural cycle, so I just brushed it off, and later, I tried to combat the bloat by being more mindful of what I ate, but nothing worked.
When I reviewed the photos taken during our trip, I noticed my stomach looked very profound: it was literally protruding through my pants! You could not miss it.
I started to feel super self-conscious. It was scorching hot, but I tried wearing larger and looser clothing to try and hide the fact that my stomach was now a balloon. I even wore a blazer on one of the last days. It became harder and harder to be happy. I unfortunately am someone that holds importance to appearance, so you can imagine how the unprecedented bloating was making me feel.
When I arrived back home, the bloating did not go away. In fact, I started to experience a new symptom: pelvic pain.
The pain was instantaneous. Again, I attributed it to my cycle, but once my cycle had wrapped up, and the pain was still there, my brain switched to panic mode. Days went on, and the pain never went away. I skipped almost every meal, took multiple days off work, and just prayed that the pain would stop. The palms of my hands became best friends with my lower-left abdomen; I was fixated in a fetus position every night. My pain tolerance is pretty high, but the pain was completely unbearable. No medication eased my suffering. It was impossible to distract my mind from the tribulation.
Then, one day, I had a sudden realization:
I could not remember the last time I had a bowel movement.
I scurried through the files embedded in my memory to recollect the last time I successfully “went to the bathroom”. It had been a couple weeks since the Texas trip, and I found myself rummaging through the memories made during that timespan as well.
Did I use the bathroom the week of August 1st? No
August 8th? Nope
Week of the 15th? Nada
How about the 22nd? Negative
It had been AGES since I pooped y’all. Not normal.
I looked to the aid of friends and coworkers for assistance. I was given and suggested everything in the book: teas, pills, powders, and pads. I did it all. I made my second doctor’s appointment to address this issue and attended one afternoon right after work. I was not taken seriously until I ended up collapsing in the lobby of Harvard Vanguard (in response to a natural laxative I had picked up and drank from a neighboring CVS that morning that kicked in).
Fast forward: I finally snagged an appointment with a gastroenterologist, and I was diagnosed with IBS-C. (I would like to note, after extensive online research on the toilet, I had already knew and self-diagnosed myself with IBS-C, but I was waiting for a professional to confirm it).
IBS
So, what is IBS?
Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) is a chronic gastrointestinal (GI) disorder that causes abdominal discomfort from sporadic contractions of the colon. Its pathophysiological cause is not known, but studies suggest IBS can occur as a result from a bacterial infection or having an overally-sensitive immune system.
Monash is an amazing resource for learning more about IBS: please check out their website here if you are interested in reading more.
There are four (4) types of IBS:
- IBS-C, which main symptom is constipation (this is what I have)
- IBS-D, which main symptom is diarrhea
- IBS-M, which has a mix of constipation and diarrhea
- IBS-U, whose symptoms cannot be categorized (i.e. “unknown”)
IBS is twice as common in women than men (ugh, dang it, I can’t win). IBS is a scale: people experience it differently, and its effects can range from mild to severe. Common symptoms of IBS include:
- abdominal cramping and pain
- gas
- bloating
- changes in bowel movements
Less common symptoms include headaches, backaches, and appetite loss.
To serve as a visual, this is a common phase of what one’s stomach would look like when dealing with IBS-C:
Crazy, right? Not fun at all :(
With IBS, there are triggers that can jump start the symptoms listed above:
- stress, anxiety, and/or changes in mood
- diet, including food intolerances
- intestinal bacterial overgrowth
- mental disorders, such as depression or Somatic Symptom Disorder
Although IBS is life-altering, IBS is not life-threatening. Lifestyle changes are crucial in managing symptoms.
Managing My IBS-C
Its been a couple weeks shy of a year since I was first diagnosed with IBS-C. Throughout the past year, I have learned and noted my triggers, and have adapted accordingly. To note, my biggest triggers observed that set off my IBS-C symptoms are:
Food:
- Dairy — I try my absolute hardest to stay away from this. Unfortunately, that means not being able to enjoy life’s pleasures (i.e. ice cream, cheesecake, the $4 quesadilla from Taco Bell lol). I now substitute plant-based milk (oat milk is my fav), and find alternatives for the treats I enjoy.
- Carbonated drinks — this one was hard for me. I looooooooove seltzer and sparking water, but the bloat from indulging in these are just too hard to beat. If I do need a lil’ bubble, I opt for fermented spritzers (i.e kombucha) to get the same feel.
- Red meats — I never really consumed red meat anyway (I just don’t take a liking to it, and certain meats I do not consume for religious reasons), but I would never pass down a filet mignon. Balance, baby.
- Sugar — Y’all, candy, especially chocolate, is my weaaaaaaaaaaakness. I am not going to lie: I wrestle with this the most out of all, but cutting down on the free Lindt at work has done wonders for my skin.
- Vegetables — my gut cannot break down things like asparagus, beans and avocado as well as others, so I just remain mindful of my plate.
Other:
- Stressful situations — any event that induces stress and/or anxiety on my body has an immediate affect on my GI tract: I can literally feel the changes in my gut.
It really takes a village to tackle something as sporadic as gastrointestinal contractions, but I have been blessed with the people and resources necessary to minimize my symptoms:
- Goodpath — I am extremely blessed to have a wellness coach via this Massachusetts-based startup company through my employer. Goodpath provides behavioral therapy for digestive and mental conditions, as well as sleep issues and common joint paint. I meet with my coach, Linda, every 3–4 weeks, on average, to assess my symptoms, and get sent a box full of natural products for my IBS every month.
- I have my own GI specialist through my health insurance.
- Lifetime — I am again so blessed to have a fancy gym membership. Its necessary for people with IBS to get an adequate amount of physical exercise. I try my hardest to get an hour’s amount of work in the gym 3 times a week at minimum. I would like to note that 2 years ago, I did engage in much more indirect physical activity when I relied on public transportation to go to and from work, so I remain mindful of finding alternative forms of transportation when the opportunity arises. I started indoor cycling during the pandemic, and have been slowly moving my way outdoors to get some fresh air in (2-for-1 deal, if I may say so myself!)
- Diet — I avoid the food groups that I previously listed above when I can. I have been opting for many sugar-free and dairy-free alternatives , and its been fun seeing what else is out there! I did also momentarily join Hello Fresh, with the help of my employer, to help me prepare tastier vegan/vegetarian options, but the $56+ meals/week got expensive. I recently bought a cool cookbook at Target, so hopefully I will put it to good use. I drink tea often (specifically, teas containing mint or Senna leaf), eat prunes when needed, and have been consuming bottles of water on a daily basis. Why do I abide by a certain diet, you may ask? Well, people with IBS follow a FODMAP (low or high, depending on the type of IBS you have. I am not able to break down certain carbohydrates as well as other people, so I eat things that can be readily absorbed by my digestive system. For more information on FODMAPs, follow this link here.
- Cryoslimming — Funny enough, before being diagnosed, I was already going to Cryohub Boston to get the fat in my abdomen frozen (yep). Cryoslimming is a new, Europe-based cosmetic procedure that uses medical-grade metal plates attached to pads or a wand to target adipose tissue: the plates reach -2-degrees F, and your body essentially flushes the fat out through your lymphatic system. Its extremely cold, and may be uncomfortable for some, but you lose an average of an inch in your targeted area per session. I dont do this often (because who has $1,200 a year to spend), but I did buy a package back in 2019 (when I thought I was ballin’), and I thus use the sessions when I need a pick-me-up.
- CANDLES!!! — Who knew candles were such a great stress reliever? I bought my first bougie candle at a local department store, and I light it when i can to stimulate my nasal senses. I have observed that just the act of lighting a candle calms me down now. I incorporate burning a candle in my nightly routine. Speaking of stress: other preventative measures I take in regards to stress are: limiting my phone/social media use, listening to soothing music (Neo-soul, a subset of the R&B genre, is a top choice of mine), STAYING CLEAR OF NEGATIVITY, and trying to remain positive (one of my huge faults is pessimism, so this was a giant leap of a change for me).
The biggest thing for me has been staying confident through it all. My IBS, on top of the appendectomy scar I trot, does make me heavily self-conscious.
Im fact, I do not own a single bathing suit. If you invite me to the beach, or some pool party, I will make up some lousy excuse, without hesitation. The simple “I can’t swim” has been working for me pretty well.
My dresser is full of spanx. I wear them every single day, no matter the climate.
There are days where I avoid looking in the mirror while changing. I hate that I do that, but I am just keeping it real.
I am a big advocate of changing what is deemed unfit, so it is up to me to remain consistent in managing my symptoms if I want to see physical results, particularly with the bloating.
I pray that God increases my level of confidence, and grants me the determination and consistency to mold myself into the woman I want to become. I am worthy on holding the title of beautiful, no matter my shape. I also pray that God gives me someone who sees what I am unable to see at times. I obviously do not need the validation from anyone (duh), but I think having someone on your corner who is supportive and acknowledges your struggles is vital in one’s journey. Teamwork really does make the dream work.
I love myself in every form! If you are struggling with IBS, I want you to know that I endlessly adore the way you look, too, bloat n’ all. 😘
IBS-ers, UNITE! ✊🏿
Disclaimer: This blog post does not serve as a method to diagnose, prevent, or treat any disease. Please consult a primary care physician if you have any questions or concerns about IBS.
