My Struggle With The “Perfect Body”

Finding self-love in a world that profits from our insecurities.

Millennial Mom

Published in

Reaching Hearts

4 min readFeb 22, 2024

Scrolling through Instagram can feel like entering a universe where everyone has flawless skin,

impossibly toned bodies,

and lives that overflow with effortless glamour.

It’s easy to forget that those images are carefully crafted, filtered, and posed — they’re the digital equivalent of a highlight reel.

I mean, that’s why there are the “highlight” AND reel options on Instagram right?

But what about the rest of us? Those of us with stretch marks, scars, tummies that aren’t perfectly flat, and bodies that don’t fit into the narrow mold society often celebrates? Where’s our space in this picture-perfect online world?

My Body-Shaming Trigger

I’ve always been on the smaller side. I’m petite, naturally thin, and I have the kind of metabolism that lets me indulge without ever seeing it on the scale.

Y’all I have been pregnant with two boys separately and only gained 10–12 pounds with both.

For reference, I am normally 95–100 pounds. So 110–112 pounds while pregnant? Yes, that scared me. However, my doctor reassured me I’d be fine, and I was 😄

For some, this might sound like a dream scenario. But the reality is, that my body shape has been a source of both snide comments and genuine concern throughout my life.

The moment that sticks with me happened at church, of all places. Someone I knew, knowing full well I was petite and naturally thin, pointed at me and said, “No, she’s anorexic!” in front of 30 people.

It felt like a punch to the gut.

I ran to the bathroom and balled my eyes out. I came out, and my cousin saw me, eyes red and puffy, and said, “Don’t let that person get to you.”

Of course, I tried not to let it get to me. But it was too late. The words had been said. I was in high school at the time. Try telling a girl in high school not to let comments like that get to you.

Anorexia is a serious eating disorder, not an insult. Their words, meant with joking and humor, were hurtful and triggering.

At that moment, I felt like my body was a defect, that no matter what I ate or how healthy I was, I’d always be judged.

Finding the Power in My ‘Flaw’

That experience kicked off a journey of learning to accept, and eventually, love, this body of mine. It’s not always easy.

There are still days when I see an edited photo and feel inadequate. But I’m choosing to combat those feelings with a hefty dose of self-compassion.

Here’s what I’ve realized:

My body is unique, and that’s a good thing. We need all kinds of shapes and sizes in the world. My only goal is to be healthy and strong enough for my boys now.
My worth isn’t defined by how closely I match a beauty ideal. My personality, kindness, and amazing sense of humor matter far more 😉
Social media is a curated illusion, not real life. Everyone has insecurities, even the seemingly “perfect” people online. It’s rare, but I have seen some influencers post some “raw” photos on occasion.

Celebrate the Unfiltered Body

I’m sharing my story because I know I’m not alone. Whether you’re naturally skinny, curvy, tall, short, or somewhere in between, there’s likely a part of your body that you’ve been taught to dislike.

Let’s change the narrative.

Let’s champion the real,

the unfiltered,

and the authentically beautiful.