WHEN SOMEONE CALLS FOR HELP…
Trigger warning: Thoughts of suicide (of a third- party) are in this story.
I have been selfish in my recovery.
Still doubtful about my own strengths and wisdom, I chose to focus solely on my own recovery.
I believed I wasn’t ready to be responsible for others as I, too, am not out of the woods yet. — Will I ever be, though?
But one fateful night, I reconnected with another NA member, and he pointed out to me that helping others is also beneficial for my recovery.
‘We keep what we have by giving it away.’ The famous saying in NA.
Feeling that it was Higher Power’s calling, I started to get involved in my local NA service community.
I was scared, of course. So many questions and doubts started entering my mind;
Am I selfless enough?
Do I have the time to commit to this?
Do I have the patience to deal with newcomers?
Would I know what to say?
Will I make a difference?
-were some of them.
Fresh on the boat, someone posted on the women’s chat group that she needed help. She needed to talk to someone.
I didn’t know who she was, nor had I seen her in any of our Zoom meetings before. But she needed help and was brave enough to seek it, not knowing who would answer at the other end — we addicts find it hard to ask for help.
Our stubbornness and ego will always get in the way.
Seeing as I had time to spare before work, I took a deep breath and called her.
It was a suicidal ideation case.
My biggest fear.
I didn’t know how to handle such thoughts, being my first time.
I panicked.
What do I do?!
What do I say to her?!
I needed to seek help from the others, but she’s in the group chat as well. NA is all about anonymity, I couldn’t break the code.
I was internally screaming at my Higher Power for handing me such a tough one. But I was already on the line with her. I had to push through.
Thankfully, I found a group that she wasn’t in. I blasted my predicament and sought their advice. To my surprise, the men promptly replied with suggestions;
- Call Befrienders
- Point her to a meeting happening worldwide
- Listen and be sincere
- Speak from the heart, Higher Power will guide you
I don’t know what I did or said to her, but fortunately, after an hour, she felt better.
To my amazement, I felt good too! Knowing that I had helped someone left me feeling like I was ten feet tall!
I understand the saying better now that I’ve lived it.
As I reflect, I came to the conclusion that sometimes, when our minds go dark, all we need is someone who will listen sincerely and patiently. Someone who will be there with us without judging.
We will find our own light at the end of what seems like a never-ending tunnel. And what was once dark and bleak, will become bright and well again.
For those who need help with suicidal ideation, you can click here to contact Befrienders Worldwide or here for the Zoom link of the NA 24-hour Marathon Meeting.
I hope this article helps you.
Love,
Dee
