Holiday Season| Mass Minded v Growth Minded
It’s the festive, holiday season. I’ve been thinking a lot about this.
As I reflect on what this means, I realise there is a could, a should, and a does reality for the holidays; what it could mean, what it should mean and what it does mean (not that these are always mutually exclusive). Reflecting further on my thoughts, I recognise that it also depends entirely on mindset — during the holidays, the thoughts and actions of an entrepreneurially (or success/growth) minded person will differ substantially from that of someone who isn’t particularly interested in growth or whose growth is happenstance (personal, professional or otherwise). And I find that fascinating. This means that you could really take advantage of this time to set yourself apart, ambitiously.
Mass Minded
For many people, it seems that the holidays provide a necessary reprieve from the mundane and a welcome distraction from the cold dreariness of life, unless you are fortunate to live in Mexico City like me! And there is certainly nothing intrinsically wrong with that. It means that there is something warm and inviting to look forward to as your feet touch the cold floorboards at 5:00am, as you rush off to work with 3,000 layers on (and are still bone cold) with a steaming cup of instant coffee that you expertly hold with all children in tow, as you drive through horrific traffic with clouds of your breath hugging the windshield. It means that there are crackling fires, beautifully wrapped gifts, smells of cinnamon and delicious food waiting for you, if you can just survive the dark mornings, the “I’ve-genguinely-had-it-up-to-here” staff meetings, and the idiocy of mankind during a Christmas sale.
It means spending time with your family, who you’ve barely seen with the overtime you’re working (hey there stranger, I’m your Mommy — you may recognise me from such moments as your birthday and as the face of grumpy cat every morning). It means sitting in one place for more than three consecutive minutes. It means bonding over a shared love of Christmas movies, absurd Christmas sweaters and a once-a-year yearning for Baileys with your best friends. Basically, somewhere deep in our psyche (that tiny bit of brain with thoughts we never admit exist out loud) it means life imitating an Abercrombie advert with a touch of Danish hygge.
Ah, and that’s the trick of it. You and I both know that it’s never quite like this. Rather, the holidays often mean watching your loved ones behave bat-shit crazy with Grandma spouting questionable rhetoric, Uncle Paul revealing his creepy crush on a specific Sugar Plum Fairy (calm it down, Paul — calm it the F down), little Tyler hitting on EVERY next door neighbour girl because it seems puberty has transformed him in to a wild hyena, and your significant other hiding on the roof for a moment of sweet respite; we all know you’re not fixing the roof-top sleigh, buddy.
Let’s also not forget the icy tension between the Aunties, the grumblings of the in-laws as they judge your parents’ decorating skills on a scale of miserly (-1) to the palaces of the Persian Empire (8.5 because 10 does not exist), and the inevitable cease-fire, turned cold-war, turned nuclear assault of political conversations between generations of people who have rarely (if ever) mediated their own thinking.
Sweet. Baby. Jesus. “Can I drive back to work like right now?” Is actually a thought that most likely made it’s way through your subconscious. This isn’t even mentioning holiday preparations (from buying presents in a potential war-zone that rivals 1990’s Fallujah, to wrapping the presents and realising that there is more tape in your hair than on the wrapping paper, to nearly burning down the house with Christmas decorations and making crafty presents that cost you a squillion dollars more to make- so much for saving money. And every year, there is this fog of mental amnesia that makes us believe it will be different this year. It could be. It should be. But it isn’t.
Growth Minded
Those with a growth mindset, singularly focused on achieving something ambitious (whether personally or professionally), don’t play this game. I am fortunate to know some of the most extraordinary entrepreneurs, business-owners and professionals around the world, and I am always astounded by their approach to the holidays.
It is fundamentally different to the aforementioned description.
They prescribe to a different reality, one they create consciously with strong boundaries and thoughtful priorities. This does not mean they do not celebrate the holidays, but they do so with a different focus and energy.
Holiday Mindset:
Someone who is committed to achieving an ambitious aim or goal does not view the holiday season as an excuse or reason for slowing down. Nor are the holidays that warm, fuzzy time that demands crawling towards the end of December as though life resembles the trenches of WWII. For this to be the case, then a sense of a doomed or uninspired life would be the norm; and for these people, every day is a gift. Everyday brings infinite opportunities for gratitude, growth and inspiration, even in the darkest moments. So Christmas and New Years is just another day, really. More poignantly, it’s other people that single out Christmas and New Years as special whilst people in this camp treat all days with such reverence. For them, everyday is Christmas. And I don’t mean in that roll-your-eyes and sigh patiently kind of optimism or happy-go-lucky positivity that makes you want to physically assault someone. I just mean they have a mindfulness approach to each day, be it Christmas or the 3rd of September.
Budgeting Time and Finances:
For someone in this arena, budgeting their money is just as important as budgeting their time. As such, they carefully allocate a holiday budget within their means and purchase items accordingly; they also do so months ahead of time and aren’t bothered by the nonsense of sales (read Robert Cialdini’s Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion to understand why). The point here is that they do so in order to ensure that their budget and time does not distract from or negatively impact their ambitious trajectory (again, personally or professionally). For example, a good friend of mine and business-owner recently booked in time with some influential contacts and prospective clients; he has a specific vision and goal that he is striving for in his business and this is quite exciting, as he is building momentum! However, many of these meetings are at silly hours of the day and evening, most of them require extensive travel throughout December and he will, of course, incur costs. Duh. Knowing all of this, he and his wife sat down to review their budget and budgeted their time and finances in such a manner that the opportunity took precedence; they then focused on an acceptable division of responsibilities for the holidays (clearly communicating not only what needs to be done, but who will be doing so) ordered their gifts online for early delivery and pre-wrapped (in accordance with their budget). They also wrangled their young kids and spoke to them like adults, explaining their expectations over the holiday season. And this brings me nicely to my next observation.
Boundaries & Priorities:
To have an ambitious goal supported by a growth mind-set means that you must have boundaries and priorities. In other words, success-minded folks understand opportunity cost (saying ‘yes’ to something means saying ‘no’ to something else) and have the maturity to deal with it. That means, they say no to the trillion parties they are invited to by friends near and wide. That means, although they may still love and adore them, they say no to chilling with people who invariably cannot act their wage — because they don’t want to be in a position forced to choose between blowing their financial and time budget for the sake of a drunken moment; rather, they need all that time and their budget to earn the edge or advantage in an opportunity that will propel them closer to their dream. It’s a no brainer and they don’t feel bad about it, nor should they! In fact, they see the holiday season as a time they can really put the pedal to the metal whilst the rest of society chills in the back seat drinking egg-nog. The choice is never between holiday merriment and what they are striving to accomplish; no, that commitment and decision was made long ago.
Now, it’s just a matter of gently and lovingly reminding people who have different expectations and a wholly different mindset in their life.
Go Giver Principles & Adding Value:
This is most impressive. It’s not as though success/growth mindset people are the Grinches of Christmas or just cancel Christmas so they can Scrooge McDuck their way to their goals. Quite the opposite. What’s most astonishing is they use this time, more than any other time in the year, to ask the questions how can I add value to this person; how can I ease their suffering? These questions are applied to all spheres of influence in their lives — from colleagues, to clients and prospects, to family and friends. Whether it is budgeting time to hand-write holiday cards, to calling an ailing friend just for a chat, the questions create further opportunity to add value to someone’s life in a meaningful way; not just by buying them something new and shiny (don’t get me wrong, I love new and shiny)! I think, more than anything, it’s this aspect that separates the truly successful people from others. And I don’t simply mean financially successful — I mean holistically successful. These are people who not only understand the Go Giver Principles, but apply them on a daily basis as part of their life and as a fundamental aspect of their character. It affects how they prioritise, how they make decision and how they define their own success. Isn’t the whole point of Christmas to comemorate the life and work of someone who spent their days healing the wounds of mankind spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally?
So. I suppose the question is: what kind of holiday will you have?
