Don’t take it personally
I used to be someone who took everything personally especially my work. To me, my work and I were one and the same. So when someone critiqued my work, they criticised me. I was constantly hurt and up in my feelings.
Naturally, I’m a hardworking person and my principles don’t allow me to do mediocre work. I always give it my best. Therefore, it was hard for me to understand why someone didn’t appreciate the amount of work I put into completing a particular task.
My suffering went on for first three weeks during my internship. My supervisor hardly found my work up to his standards but he didn’t do anything to help.
My fellow intern faced the same thing but he didn’t seem affected. I thought he didn’t care about his work.
On the third week when I was in the verge of quitting, I approached one of the employees who worked directly under my supervisor.
“Why is he so hard on us and doesn’t show us what he wants?”
“He wants you to explore your creativity and complete the task in your own way but still deliver quality work.”
“I think I have had enough of that guy. It’s time for me to find another company to intern at.”
“Hold on, are you serious? You want to quit because someone doesn’t approve of your work and he’s actually pushing you to become better?”
“I’m always frustrated and I don’t see it like that. I think this place is not for me!”
I had cried myself to sleep most nights but I wasn’t about to disclose that.
He told me to learn to accept feedback and criticism. It was the only way I was going improve and grow. He also added that I’m a separate entity from my work. When someone says that my work isn’t good or it could use a few tweaks, it has nothing to do with me but just work.
I realised then that I took everything my supervisor said about my work to heart and as a reflection of who I was.
It wasn’t easy when I started separating the two but I was less frustrated and hurt. I was willing to learn and ask for help from my colleagues to produce quality work.
He did turn down it often but I appreciated it. I had a chance to explore other ideas and grow. I got better at drafting, collecting initial feedback, coding and team work. I doubt I would have learnt all this if I didn’t go through that experience.
To this day, I’m grateful to that supervisor and mostly to Ben who taught me to treat myself and my work as two separate entities.
First published on laughloveliveonyourterms
