Focus of fewer people who matter more

Like all of us, I have gone through several significant phases in my life. At a young age, I was spending most of my time in the swimming pool, followed by early-adulthood in the Royal Dutch Marines. Then I moved to Vietnam to start my family and businesses.

Throughout these years I have probably met hundreds of people, many of whom I called ‘friends’. In one-way or another, they have all shaped me to be the person I am today – for better and for worse.

But lately I have been questioning the meaning of social interaction and friendship. As I am getting older, I am starting to attach a different concept to the word ‘friend’. As important most of them seemed to be during a particular phase, it often did not take me long to replace them (and they me) with newer versions when entering a new chapter.

However, there are some that stuck – those who you can always count on and that are on your mind regardless which phase of life you are in. I guess of the hundreds I have considered a ‘friend’ over the years, there are 12 people that actually fit the ‘true friend’ bill.

This inner circle of mine is small but quite diverse. And that’s good: an inner circle is in need of diversity, and mine is surely an eclectic variety of characters and personalities. But they all have one thing in common: they accept me for who I am and they seem capable of withstanding my stupid jokes and unfiltered opinions.

I hardly give my true friends the attention and time they deserve. But whenever I see them, I know that time is never of the essence –past, present or future. However, it does make me wonder why we, as humans, have this urgent need to meet new people, to go out there, to promote ourselves to new potential friends.

As with love, true friendships either happen or they don’t. You can’t force it.

Surely there are some spots still vacant in my inner circle (and these will be filled over the phases of my life yet to come), but for now, my plan is to focus a bit more. To focus on fewer people who matter more.

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Dutchman Marco van Aggele is founder and owner of a healthy mix of Companies. Creativity (and being different for that matter) is the reason behind everything Marco does and what drives him to be build new concepts and practice living an unconventional life.

This is his second post on Medium. If you found value in his article, hit the Recommend button or follow him ;-). He will be posting more articles soon.

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