The Art of Feedback: A Practical Guide to Giving Friendly and Constructive Feedback
Sincere and constructive feedback is a real gift 🎁. However, getting it right is not as simple as it seems. That’s why in this article we’re going to share some tips and examples of how to give clear and constructive feedback to both colleagues and superiors so that you can become the person everyone comes to for feedback in your office 😃.
First of all, let’s start by identifying the most frequent problems we can come across when giving feedback.
We start to offer our feedback and…
▪️ The person goes into defence mode 🥊. Instead of listening to what we are saying in a constructive way, the person focuses on making excuses and refuting all the arguments we make, or simply complains about everything.
▪️ The person doesn’t understand anything 🤯. They think the information we are offering is based on perceptions, and if those perceptions are not shared they react by thinking that the conversation does not apply to them.
▪️ Snowball effect ⛄ If we delay a difficult conversation for too long, we run the risk of the situation escalating in a snowball effect, leaving little room for reaction on both sides.
And why does all of this happen?
The answer is simple: we don’t have a strong feedback culture. But don’t panic, because this article will help you foster a strong feedback culture with four simple tips.
Establish rules 📖
It’s important to establish rules to help create spaces that foster trust and constructive behaviour.
▪️ It must be made clear that none of it is personal. The only thing we are going to comment on is work and so there is no need to feel judged.
▪️ One basic rule is to respect everyone’s opinions, whether we agree with them or not.
▪️ We always have to maintain a constructive attitude; it’s all about contributing, not assigning the blame. That’s the only way we can learn for the future.
Choose the right moment ⏳
It’s not always appropriate to give feedback, so it’s important to choose the best time and discuss with the other person whether they feel it is enough or if they would prefer to have more or less input.
▪️ On a regular basis.
▪️ When you have an activity relevant to your work and relevant to the matter you wish to discuss.
▪️ It’s important that everyone feels free to create spaces of trust when needed.
Choose your words carefully 🤐
Words are powerful tools; they can be constructive but they can also be very destructive. So remember, feedback is a perfect opportunity to motivate and enhance positive aspects, but try to be as specific as possible.
Another thing, and this is very important… avoid saying ‘but…’ ⛔ Ask yourself if you can change those ‘buts’ to an “it would be great if…” or “I would have loved it if…”.
Here’s a very simple example to help you understand this last point:
▪️ Situation: A while ago we delivered a report, a few days behind schedule and with incomplete information.
▪️ Scenario: This has been a disaster. We expected a better quality job. We can’t allow this to happen, it’s a major failure. We’re really disappointed with the result.
▪️ Suggestion: We haven’t kept to the schedule, which means that the teams don’t have all the information they requested from us in order to be able to do their job and we have to do it again. This may have an effect on customer confidence.
How do you feel?
How do you think the customers feel?
What can we do to ensure that a situation like this doesn’t occur again?
You have my full support, I’m here to clear up any issues and it’s important that you keep me informed. I’d be delighted to help any way I can to improve things.
Be empathetic 😉
To do so, try following these steps:
👉 Be objective.
👉 What impact did your feedback have?
👉 How did you feel after giving your feedback?
👉 How do you think the other person feels?
👉 Consider possible ideas or different ways of approaching the matter that could help more.
This mental ordering of facts and beliefs based on Edward de Bono’s book 🎩 New Think ensures everyone is on the same page 🚢 and capable of understanding any point of view.
And listen 👂, listen, listen! In order to do this, you have to let the other person speak and try to understand their point of view. Once they have finished making their arguments, you can provide necessary context and avoid going into ‘justification mode’.
To sum up…
Until ChatGPT 💻 manages to read our minds, we will have to keep on giving feedback. I encourage you to put these ideas into practice and create spaces of trust so that together we can consolidate a feedback culture 😜.
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