You Don’t Have to Beg for Friends
Just be yourself and let the Universe do the work
Do you want to know something strange and unexpected that I learned about getting friends and having a social life? You don’t have to beg people to be your friends. You can just relax a little and let them come to you… organically.
I’ll tell you what happened with me. I had had a very successful year socially. When I moved to Charlotte, I decided I wanted a real social life. I joined a bunch of meetup groups and attended a bunch of meetup social events. I even overcame my shyness so much that I even hosted a bunch of meetup events myself!
But a few months ago, I was feeling sad and a little disappointed because I didn’t have close friends that I could meet up with one on one and do things together. No one seemed interested in meeting up with me outside of the meetup group events. I had spent months meeting people and actively hinting that I would love to meet people and hang out. If I felt there was a connection, I would say something like “Hey if you wanna keep in touch and meet up some time, let me know!… Text me!” — All to no avail. I wasn’t having any success meeting up with people outside the big groups.
So I got really frustrated, and decided I wasn’t going to ask people to hang out. I was done! If someone was interested in hanging out with me, they would have to ask me! I wasn’t lifting a finger to ask any one. I was completely done!
And guess what… That crap actually worked!
All of a sudden many of the friends I had met over the course of the year started asking me to do things with them. One friend asked me to go the Greek Festival with her, another friend asked me do coffee, another person wanted to grab dinner. Another person even asked me to go to the movies with her. It was such a sudden quick reversal that I couldn’t believe it. And I repeat I wasn’t even expecting this tactic to work. I just did it because I was frustrated.
So I’ve found out this is the way life kinda works. Sometimes you have to get out of the Universe’s way. You think you always have to aggressively or blatantly pursue what you want. But often a more passive approach can and does work. More than forcing things to happen, you just have to mold yourself to be the kind of person that attracts the friendships you want.
Now don’t get me wrong… You have to do the legwork. You have to put yourself out there, you have to actually make conversation with people, you have to reveal your authentic self to people.
But then you can let the Universe take it from there.
Believe it or not, it’s the job of the Universe to provide what you need and desire.
It’s the job of the Universe to provide you the vehicle to get you to where you want to be.
Even though I didn’t know it… In a sense, by more blatantly pursuing friendships and one on one meetings, I was putting up a Resistance to what the Universe wanted to give me and when it wanted to give it to me. To my great surprise, by kind of “giving up” and releasing it to the Universe, I ended up allowing the Universe to do its thing and provide me the one on one friendship opportunities I wanted.
For friendships, the key is to be your most authentic self. And of course you have to talk to people for them to see your authentic self. And you can be your most authentic self when you like yourself and believe that your voice has value. You can be your most authentic self when you aren’t worried about getting people to like you or getting them to hang out with you. That’s the most effective way to do it.
You proudly and confidently show your authentic self to the world, and the Universe will respond to that. And the people you meet will respond to that and be drawn to you. There are some who won’t like your authentic self and that’s ok. They are not for you. But many people will love your authentic self, and they will be interested in your soul and who you are, and they will ask you to go places and do things with them.
You don’t have to beg people to like you. You don’t have to nudge people to like you or want to hang with you. The right people will organically want to do it.
So keep that in mind… Put yourself out there… and remember to… Show up for yourself today!
Because when you begin to show up for yourself… others will begin to show up for you too.
