A Thank You Letter to My Emotional Sensitivity
To My Emotional Sensitivity:
I’ll say it: I often don’t feel thankful for you. You bring tears when I’m already sitting in a lake with my name on it, full of them. I ache and groan at how often you show up. I dread your presence like I dread a family fight on a holiday. You walk in with your suitcase and sit down without having rung the doorbell. You pop up whenever you want, even without a reason.
But at the same time, I realize that you do have worth, a purpose.
You show up when someone’s eyes are the color of confusion. You show up when others are screaming or crying. You show up when others’ cold tone causes me to shiver. You show up when I read “good, but not good enough,” in rejection email after rejection email.
You show up when someone laughs at me. You show up when one of my loved ones is grieving a death. You show up when people yell and stomp and either ignore my eye contact or glare at me. You show up when people slam the door on a friendship maintained for years.
In other words, you show up more when I’m feeling down than when I’m feeling up.
When you show up, I worry that others will judge me further because they don’t understand you. I hate how you exacerbate negative feelings. You make a situation sticky…
