Becoming Anti-Racist Is NOT Self-Development, But It Does Begin With Self Acceptance
Love thy neighbor as you love thyself
First off, how are you?
It might feel nice to pause for a moment and hold space for your answer. Your real answer, not the one you’re expected to have.
While I cannot say that I know how you feel, because I understand that I will never understand what those in the BIPOC community are experiencing, and quite frankly, even if we come from similar socio-economic backgrounds, my experience in all of this will be entirely different from yours, I can say that I honor whatever is coming up for you.
Apart from analyzing the larger systems in place in the US, much of the work white people (myself included) have been encouraged to start, if we hadn’t already, involves questioning the belief systems within — the subconscious programming that we’ve acquired through the upbringing that was instilled in us from a very early age.
And by that, I don’t just mean looking at the presence or absence of racist thoughts or biases. Obviously, those are top of mind and are essential to reflect upon, in addition to how we can become actively anti-racist.
But underneath those conscious and/or subconscious beliefs lies the question of our own identity, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
The conversations I’ve been having with my family this past week have prompted me to explore the psychology behind racism. After some preliminary research, this is what I’ve come to understand.
We know that from a biological standpoint, no one is born racist. The concept of race is entirely foreign to humans because we are but one race — the human race. There is no “other.”
The concept of “other” emerges either overtly through the beliefs instilled in us through our upbringing, or through a more subtle but equally powerful recognized separation of the self as the “other.”
In other words, learned feelings of disconnection, separation and inadequacy prompt the desire to belong, to find our identity in something greater than ourselves and thus find approval from others in order to approve of ourselves.
This desperation to quench the desire to belong and appease anxiety around inadequacy can be strong enough to overpower our morals, values, and better judgement. Suggesting that, at the most fundamental level, racism, xenophobia, bullying and general prejudice stem from a lack of self-love, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
How can someone’s lack of self-worth translate into the harsh brutality, violence, and every day indignations that highlight racism? And what about the less aggressive, but no less oppressive, covert forms of racism?
Again, it’s not an immediate cause-and-effect. Rather, there are five layers, or stages, of psychological defense mechanisms in place that contribute to white fragility as well as the more extreme cases of racism.
First, there is a questioning of one’s…
Identity. All humans have an innate desire to belong (cue Maslow’s hierarchy). For one reason or another, an individual may feel they aren’t accepted as they are, and there comes a desire to define oneself as a part of something external. This can be expressed as innocently as rooting for a sports team. But can often give way to…
Enmity. There is a greater level of cohesion built through the superficial identity of being part of a group, and the collective expressing distaste or hostility towards those outside. From there…
Lack of empathy can arise, limiting compassion and concern to only those in the group, often leading to the…
Homogenization, or total disregard for the individual qualities, of those considered “other.” Generally applied prejudices, assumptions, and biases are cast on the outsiders. Removing individuality is dehumanizing, giving way to greater levels of hostility, violence and brutality that is often a subconscious expression of…
Projected self-insufficiencies — also known in the spiritual community as the rejection of the shadow-self. Often, the things that trigger us in others are the very things we reject or disapprove of about ourselves.
In the post that inspired this article, Steve Taylor, Ph.D, an author and lecturer on the intersection of psychology and spirituality, wrote, “racism is a symptom of psychological ill-health. It is a sign of a lack of psychological integration, a lack of self-esteem and inner security. Psychologically healthy people with a stable sense of self and strong inner security are not racist, because they have no need to strengthen their sense of self through group identity. They have no need to define themselves in distinction to — and in conflict with — others.”
Where he states that “psychologically healthy people… are not racist,” I believe Taylor means to say that people who are secure in who they are and who’s sense of identity do not depend on the approval of others are not inclined to be overtly racist themselves. Makes sense.
But as has been highlighted in today’s movement, it’s not enough to “not be racist.” It begs the question, do these same psychologically healthy people portray active anti-racism?
You would think that if someone is entirely secure, fully self-accepting and self-loving, they would have the capacity to spread that love outwardly and stand up for what is right. It’s a classic fill-up-your-cup-first-until-it-is-overflowing scenario.
If that holds true, then perhaps even those who aren’t racist but also aren’t actively anti-racist still have some love to offer themselves.
All this to say, I do not mean to suggest that unpacking white fragility and becoming anti-racist is self-development work. Certainly not. But certainly, self-development work is essential to becoming anti-racist.
While I not trying to claim we can pinpoint the root of racism in a mere article, I do believe that, as imperative as it is that we dismantle the oppressive systems that define our society today, the long term evolution necessary to bring about a more racially enlightened society of the future begins with looking inward.
As many BLM leaders have stated, racism is not a political issue. It is a human rights issue. To take that one step further, we are dealing with a matter of human needs. And resolving the issue requires understanding humanity, understanding that even those who have committed the most horrifying acts against the black community are also human, with human anxieties, fears, and basic desires to belong, feel recognized, feel significant, secure, and loved.
As Taylor also writes, “racism is a symptom of psychological ill-health.”
To be sure, this does not mean that mental illness is an excuse for racism. It does not dismiss any of the last 450 years of oppression, nor is any of what’s been discussed here meant to shift the focus from amplifying and supporting the BIPOC community.
But it gives us another lens through which to inquire about the systems of the future. To look at how greater psychological and spiritual support may be offered in public schools and programs across the country, for BIPOC, and for those at the greatest risk of becoming the oppressors.
I will continue to question my role in all of this — as a citizen, a white woman of privilege, a friend, a daughter, an aunt, a coach, and as a contributing member of the wellness community that is no-doubt overly saturated with other white women of privilege.
It has always been my mission to make honoring yourself every day as achievable as possible, regardless of income, skin color, location, or any other criteria. But I recognize that I have work to do. I recognize that I will likely not say the right thing (that I have likely already said the wrong thing), but that daring to say anything at all and offering new perspectives is the very least I can do.
