Four sentences to avoid saying to an anxious person!
And what to say instead.
First thing first, let’s stop glamorizing anxiety and depression! It’s not an excuse to throw to being lazy! It’s not the fact that you are sad, it’s a mental illness that we must take it seriously!
Recently I saw a video of an influencer who is dancing while captioning the video: When I get an anxiety attack. And I was like no way. When you are dealing with this, believe me, panic attacks are something horrible! Your heart bumps so rapidly that you can’t breathe!
Seeing this video reminds me of some talks I had with people and this is a brief discussion with 4 of my friends:
Me: I am not feeling okay, my anxiety level is so high, it’s killing me inside.
And those are their responses:
Oh! I am sorry for you!
He said it while looking with pity to me!
No, you are not helping.
This will give more sadness, no one wants people to feel mercy for them.
I feel you!
No, you don’t.
Unless you have anxiety with a similar level of the person in front of you. Don’t say it! It does not show empathy.
Everything will be okay!
Oh, really! I did not know!
Stop saying these simple sentences to people suffering! It’s like you are making their pain so negligent without meaning to.
We all know that everything will pass and one day we will be better, but we don’t need to hear this!
Don’t worry!
Oh, thank you, your advice saved my life.
This will definitely increase my doubt that maybe what I am dealing with is not worth it! Or maybe I am not supposed to be feeling like that, as long as the solution is not that hard!
This will definitely make you wonder, so what we should say?
Try those recommendations:
How I can help you?
The first move is to secure the person in front of you that you are open to help and that he is not going through this alone!
Are you looking for help?
This is a key question because sometimes we are not talking about our anxiety to seek help. We are only sharing this to get rid of its charge out of our chest. So before offering your precious advice, you can ask if you are ready to receive it or not.
Do you want me to recommend a therapist for you?
This is another side of toleration that you can show. Offering expert help is the best advice. But please don’t say it sarcastically and don’t take this as a joke! Going to a therapist may be the major step to recovery! Don’t shame people going to them. We are in 2020, those comments are unnecessary.
Good luck to everyone going through a tough period! Be strong!
