How to Stop Fear From Turning Inconveniences into Problems
Lessons from an awkward encounter with a hairy centipede
I saw a speck of hair on the hardwood floor while walking around the apartment this morning. Surprised, I approached to pick it up and throw it out — which is when I realized it was moving.
This was no speck of hair. What I was dealing with was a giant centipede.
I screamed. He ran. A (now) hilarious one-hour chase ensued, all of which could have been avoided had I put my fear aside and handled the situation when the opportunity arose.
Step 1: Fear
Upon seeing the centipede, I froze. The very last thing I expected to see in my downtown Montreal apartment was a large insect. As such, I was completely unprepared to deal with this and was terrified to approach my new roommate.
I started wondering if this type of centipede was poisonous and if it was, whether it would be dangerous enough to cause harm to humans. Then I started picturing a scene in which I would try to catch this unwelcome visitor and ultimately end up failing due to its speed.
Every single worst-case scenario had made it into my mind, and it induced paralysis in me that blocked me from acting.
This made me think of how we react to big changes or impromptu opportunities. It’s very rare that we will jump on board with a big new change, as there are so many unknowns. We often enter a new situation by listing out all the worst-case scenarios in our heads (as I did when seeing the centipede).
We do not act. We’re often too scared to even try.
Step 2: Piecing yourself together
Now that I had accepted the predicament with my new house guest (albeit against my will), I was finally able to observe the situation at hand.
A whole new list of questions started flowing in:
- How did the centipede enter my apartment? After all, I do not live on the ground floor
- Does he have family members that will join him in the coming days?
- Should I prepare for them too?
- Did I do something to invite him in by accident?
- What could it have been?
- How do I prevent this from happening again?
Throughout my extensive line of questioning, the centipede had time to run away from me and hide.
Where did he hide, you may ask? On the carpet of course. The one place where I could not touch him without worrying about making a mess.
This was when I started to get very irritated with myself — had I not taken my time feeling the fear, I could have reacted immediately and avoided the situation I was currently in.
Instead of only worrying about what to do with the centipede, I now needed to worry about removing him from the carpet before deciding what to do with him.
The time I wasted by being paralyzed to act did not help me — quite the contrary, it made the situation all the more complicated.
How often does this happen in life with any other opportunity?
We are put in a new situation that is very foreign to us, and instead of acting immediately, we freeze up and take our time before making our move.
When we finally do start acting, the situation has evolved, and we now need to put in more work as a result to reach the exact same conclusion.
Step 3: Strategizing
With the situation becoming more complicated as time passed, I now needed a plan. First I needed to determine what I was going to do and then proceed with the right execution.
I decided that the centipede had to go.
Knowing myself, picking it up was not an option. This left me with no choice but to find some kind of spray that I could use.
With my new roommate firmly sticking to the carpet, I needed to use a method that would not stain, so I went through the apartment and settled on a very unorthodox solution: dry shampoo that leaves no white residue.
I slowly started approaching Mr. centipede and put my plan in motion. It worked.
When the dry shampoo landed, he first started running away, but then had to stop in his tracks. That’s when I took a moment to myself to feel relief, only to turn around and see that the centipede was gone!
Slowly walking away, he tucked himself under the couch, a place where it would be more difficult for me to reach him again.
It was back to the drawing board for me.
Step 4: Resolution
After observing the centipede for a few minutes, I realized that going into attack mode again was not the solution. My dry shampoo stunt had done enough damage, and all that he wanted was peace.
So that’s what I gave him.
Sometime later, I cleaned up the crime scene and went back to my meetings, however, my thoughts were still hovering around this incident.
This encounter turned into an hour long fiasco that all could have been avoided had I reacted immediately.
I wouldn’t have needed to analyze the worst-case scenarios, I wouldn’t have needed to strategize, nor would I have had to add layers of complexity to the situation.
I would not have felt like I was compensating for not taking the initial opportunity by coming up with a more complex solution to a situation that progressed with complications.
In the end, the centipede taught me a few lessons:
- Acting immediately allows you to get to a better result with less effort
- Waiting only complicates the situation and forces you to come up with a more complex strategy
- Solutions are not always guaranteed, so do not spend too much time trying to come up with the best one. Instead, go with your first instinct and adjust your actions as the situation progresses
- Do NOT celebrate early
- Sometimes you can do everything right and the opportunity will still run away — you need to choose to either chase it or let it go
- Dry shampoo should probably only be used on hair
Reflecting back on the past situations, I started to ask myself: could the complications have been avoided had I just acted immediately instead of thinking about the absolute best course of action?
Only the future will tell.
