How To Stop Imagining The Worse
Your spouse told you he will be back home by 6 PM, it is already 8 PM and he isn’t back yet. You tried to call him a few times, but his phone shut down and you can’t reach him.
At this point, you start imagining the worse. What if something really bad happened to him? What if he was involved in a bike accident?
You are not the only one who does it. Some people always let their minds jump to the worst possible conclusions.
There is a name for it — ‘catastrophizing’ or Catastrophic thinking.
Catastrophic thinking is a habit people get into for different reasons, and it can be difficult to break, but not impossible.
The good news is you can stop your mind from doing it.
It happens to many people at some different point in their lives.
It can be a result of previous bad experiences, or it can be related to mental health issues like chronic depression or anxiety.
Some people mistakenly think catastrophizing is a protective mechanism.
‘If I imagine the worst, and the worst doesn’t happen, I’ll feel relieved.’
But this is not how life works. In fact, by doing this, we are making things worse since our unconscious mind doesn’t know to separate emotionally between what we imagine and what really happens.
It creates great anxiety because on the emotional side, your brain thinks that this is really happening.
Catastrophic thinking can also be described as thinking about irrational worst-case outcomes.
It can increase anxiety and prevent you from taking action where the action is needed.
First, you must identify it for what it is, an irrational worst-case scenario.
Next, try to think of best-case possibilities.
Think about the possibilities of why your partner is late and could not get to his phone to let you know.
He might be in the middle of work without excess to his phone.
The last step is to go over these best-case possibilities and identify whether or not they are most likely to happen.
Doing that, you will need to control your fear and be able to think in a rational way.
After considering all the data and the facts you have, you need to think of a realistic solution to deal with the situation.
Based on our example, it may mean trying to call back again later in the evening.
Logic and a calm support network can help too
Like any other habit, catastrophizing is hard to break as well.
A bad habit will always be ready to jump back into your life, especially when you get highly emotional.
Learning to be rational and calm is the solution.
Focus on the logical aspect, rather than letting your imaginations get carried away.
It takes practice and persistence to learn to slow down and go to logic first.
Make a list of your most calm and sensible friends, and tell them you may call them once in a while, as you sometimes feel out of control.
Talking with someone else and putting it outside yourself is the best way to gain perspective in this case.
‘It takes a good three months, sometimes six months, to start to change a habit.’
So the next time you torture yourself with the thought about your late suppose involved in an accident or even something smaller like the fact someone isn’t answering your calls, take a deep breath and try to think objectively.
Be aware and remember you’re trying to change, because it’s not easy to adjust your behavior.
Be kind and patient with yourself.
Remember, the more emotional you are the more likely you are to not remember to do it correctly.
When you are calm, you get a chance to be logical.
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