“I Don’t Feel Like Wearing Pants Today”
Musings of a 26-year old under lockdown
Have you noticed your thoughts getting slightly odd and wildly entertaining lately? I know mine have.
Being stuck under lockdown in Montreal for the second time this year, I realized that my internal dialogue has been keeping me rather amused, so for a full day, I noted down many of the thoughts that I had.
I wanted to see if it would be just as entertaining reading them back-to-back as it was for me to initially experience them.
The experiment delivered — so here you have it, the inner musings of a young girl in her twenties under lockdown.
5:15 am — alarm rings, I get up, and the internal dialogue immediately starts:
"You have been a walking disaster for the past week - and that's okay! But you now have the chance to do something else with yourself this week, to not avoid everything that comes your way, and to actually make a difference in this world. Use that chance"
“I don’t feel like wearing pants today”
“Why are most mixologists/bartenders men? Women enjoy a good cocktail just as much as men do (if not more) — how are they not the ones making them?”
“I need to find myself a husband who likes to cook so that I can focus on making fancy cocktails and that we end up complementing each other’s skills”
“You shoot me down, but I won’t fall, I am titaaaaaniiiuuuuum”
“Where is my phone?”
“If I don’t get myself out of the house right now, there will be no lunch for me today”
“How can I get away with stepping outside when it’s 4 degrees without putting on pants or stockings underneath my dress?”
“THIGH HIGH BOOTS”
“Do NOT exit the building using the main entrance - getting hit on by the doorman again, after explicitly showing him how uncomfortable you are many many times, is not something that you need in your life right now”
“Are they keeping that funny-looking sculpture up on purpose to remind men of what they will most probably not be seeing during lockdown - just to make sure they do not forget? Or is there another meaning behind it?”
“Yes! The garage door is open - the doorman has been avoided successfully again!”
“My home smells like vanilla - it's nice 😊”
“They turned off the water today?? How am I supposed to battle the spread of Covid if I cannot wash my hands?? What are these people thinking?”
“Vanilla doesn't actually smell like Vanilla in the field - what is this sweet scent then? Did they artificially create the Vanilla scent?”
(After googling) “...vanilla flavoring comes from the anal glands of beavers... There's no ACTUAL vanilla in there... My whole life is a lie, and my house smells like the butt of a rodent with a cute tail.”
“The water's back! It seems like I will be having lunch today after all”
“Steak is the most amazing meal - I do not know how vegans do it”
“My computer is crashing - I still have many hours of work left today. And I'm mentoring a student in the afternoon. And joining a zoom strategy call for an NGO. My dear Macbook - you need to work with me here, at least for another 10 hours”
“It's too quiet in here, I need some noise! Let's play music”
“The music is distracting, I can't get any work done - I need to turn it off”
“It's too quiet again - I'll never win...”
“And my computer officially crashed - Monday is not off to a good start”
“Beethoven really knew what he was doing when composing "Für Elise" - I cannot stop playing this song”
(After googling) “...no one really knows who Elise is? Imagine having such a famous song composed after you only for your story to remain a mystery for centuries - poor girl! Some speculate that the song was actually composed after a woman Beethoven proposed to... Whose name was Therese... It seems that people were saying the wrong name in the 1800s too”
“Yes! The computer's up again! Back to work!”
“I still can't believe my apartment smells like a beaver's behind”
“I really hope this student is finding my thoughts valuable - as hard as I'm trying, even I sometimes don't know where I'm going in life. Then again, doesn't everyone feel this way sometimes?”
“Nevermind - I can tell that I'm helping. Mission accomplished”
“So I finished watching yet another show - ‘Killing Eve’ is fantastic. What to watch next?”
“Villanelle from ‘Killing Eve’ is hilarious. As psychopathic as she is, I FEEL her view on fashion: (when talking about comfortable clothes) Comfortable is what you make people with a terminal disease.”
“On that note, I think I will spend the rest of the evening wearing stilettos - oh no, scrap that, my downstairs neighbor doesn't like it when I do that. Wedges it is!”
“Strategy meeting time!”
“It's Christmas season, time to paint the nails red”
“Purple gin exists?? Guess who's crafting a new version of the lavender martini soon!”
“Not only is it purple, but it changes color to pink or blue depending on the other ingredients - Victoria Empress 1908 already has me sold, and I've never even tried it”
“I'm exhausted - time for bed”
“Was I useful today? Was I kind? Did I make a difference? Man do I hope so”
“I think I was — also, don’t forget that tomorrow’s another day, and with that comes the chance to do more good. Let’s use it.”
