Now more than ever, we need to understand the effects of adversity, and how we can overcome it. With the current global situation, hundreds of thousands of people have found themselves in difficult times. Many consider this to be the scariest time of their life. Adversity is dangerous because it can take over our minds — leaving us with limited capacity to digest the world around us.
It can spiral out of control and make a bad situation worse. It leads to heightened levels of stress, and drastically impacts our health. A study by the Lancet medical journal found an increased risk of a heart attack by 23% for individuals with high levels of stress. The antidote to a seemingly never-ending cycle of hurdles and anxiety is to embrace adversity.
I know it is easier said than done; however, I have found that following this process consistently gets me through tough times. Both in personal and professional settings. In fact, you will find similar advice on dozens of autobiographies and self-help books.
The simple four-step process has gotten me through tough times like moving to a country where I didn’t know anyone and couldn’t speak the language. It helped me through financial struggles in my early career. It has even helped me during a competition in sporting events. In every one of these circumstances, I felt that I was faced with an impossible situation. Every statistic out there said I shouldn’t succeed. No one in my inner circle had faced anything like what I was going through.
However, I was able to move forward to a positive outcome in each of these scenarios. This is not a quick-fix solution to all your problems, but a mindset and practice that over time will yield results. I can confidently say that this process has gotten me to a much better place in my life, after applying it for over a decade.
Let Go of Control
The first step to embracing adversity is to accept that we have very limited control over most circumstances around us. Experts have found that “The use of control is paradoxical: we believe taking control will bring us security and happiness, yet its overuse causes unhappiness, anxiety, and malaise.” Whether referring to a global pandemic, or a dispute within the family, there are a limited number of variables we can affect.
With the pandemic, we can stay informed and take precautions to avoid getting sick. With a family dispute, we can choose when and how to address the individual(s) involved. With a traffic jam, we can try an alternate route or put on an audiobook to make the most of the situation. Accepting the things we cannot control, gives us the ability to focus on things we can control.
Focusing on the things we can control, we can also overcome problems for a better tomorrow. Always look at these challenges as an opportunity to grow. It is much easier to accept and stop stressing out over things we cannot control when we look at the potential.
Concentrate on The Critical
Next is to prioritize the variables we can influence. There is a limited amount of time in the day, the human brain only has so much capacity, and adding too much to our plate can lead to failure in all of them. The main focus for anyone should be survival. We all need food, health, and shelter to continue living.
If you already have those things covered, then that’s an achievement in itself. If you don’t, then you know where to focus your energy and don’t need to worry about adding much more to your plate.
After survival comes peace of mind. These are the things that we can theoretically live without, but bring calmness to our lives. That could be a big savings account, providing for a family member, or even a gym membership. After the peace of mind comes luxuries.
Although we don’t need them, and we have already achieved some level of a stress-free life, we seek items and experiences that bring joy. Ironically, once we become focused on luxuries people tend to find stress and adversity again to maintain the new standard of life.
“20% of your efforts tend to produce 80% of your results.” — Vilfredo Pareto
Ask — Why?
Now that one has prioritized where to focus, it is time to root cause and find a solution. Any time there is adversity, there is a problem. Someone concerned over being able to make mortgage payments most likely has a money problem. We need to ask ourselves — why? Dissect every potential cause of the problem as objectively possible. It could be that I lost my job. It could simultaneously be caused by my spending habits.
At that point, we need to find short term and long term solutions. Can I reduce my spending by canceling some subscriptions? Can I increase my immediate income by selling items around the house? Can I find another job at a local grocery store? Can I downsize to another home? Can I rent out my current home?
The options are endless, but the important thing is to take action on something that will improve our current situation. The more detailed and more contingencies our plan has, the more likely we are to succeed. This will take discipline but is essential to overcoming adversity.
Take It In
Finally, learn from this experience. Remember the feeling of helplessness when adversity first came your way. More importantly, remember how you were able to overcome it. As you’re starting off, think back to other times you had faced adversity and found a way through.
From starting a business to learning how to walk, the process to succeed is the same. This is a model used by successful leaders around the world and even the military. The reason boot camp is so challenging is to give soldiers the ability to deal with stressful situations that will inevitably come upon the field.
The more we expose ourselves to adversity, the better we perform under challenging circumstances. Rely on those instances to get you through the next one. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but only if we learn from it. Accept the things you cannot control, prioritize the things you can control, the root cause the problem, and learn from each circumstance.
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” — C.S. Lewis
