BE UNIQUE
In Search of a Soulmate? You will be Single Forever
Do you believe in soulmates?
If No, this article is for you, and if Yes, this is definitely for you.
From our childhood, we grow with a belief of soulmate existence. We are obliged to believe there is an ideal person for everyone. That we don’t need to stress ourselves finding a partner, when the time is right, your soulmate will find you. As cinematic as it sounds, some people believe it.
The beliefs instilled in our childhood will have a consequential impact on our life. We strongly inject them in our belief system that we are reluctant for a reality check. When I was a kid, I learned from my parents that crossing the path of a black cat brings you bad luck. I neither questioned them nor was curious to know why. So, whenever a cat passed my way, I stopped for a few minutes or, if possible, I used to avoid the path altogether. Later from the adolescent age, I realized it didn’t make any sense and stopped being superstitious. But still, some people believe that to be true.
So when you embark to believe the existence of a soulmate, you tend to form a delusional image of this unknown person (your soulmate), which could be the villain of your romantic life. You build this image with traits you are searching for in a partner. You keep validating this image with every person you meet in your life.
Now, when you say you are searching for a soulmate, you are trying to find a person who behaves like you, thinks like you, has a similar passion like you, and has the same beliefs as you. Here I am consciously using the word you, so when I say you are trying to find someone like you, I meant you are trying to find the other you, your replica.
Our mind is a mess filled with agony, envy, brutality, and all kind of negative emotions. And trying to find something similar is sheer absurd.Generally, when a person is a soulmate believer, he always yearns for more. He expects a little more love, attention, and care. He has developed this partial image of his partner in his mind. He is the perfect prince in his little kingdom and expects his partner to be the perfect little princess. So he continually validates his partner. He goes bizarre if there is the slightest variation. He re-validates his relationship and says — Whoa, she is not my soulmate.
The notion that a relationship is successful only when two persons involved have a similar mindset is not right. The very cardinal nature of the universe is diversity. Not just by physical appearance but mind, thoughts, and behavior. A relationship is successful when the two persons are aware of the differences, and they embrace them.
On the other hand, a person who is a non-believer of soulmates is subtle in the relationship. He is aware of the constraints, and he doesn’t have any predetermined expectations. He goes with the flow and lives in reality. Instead of validating each step, he grows along with his partner. He forgives easily and doesn’t hold any grudges because he knows life is too short to hold onto negative emotions. He is open to accept the fact.
The fact that nobody is perfect. Not you, not me, and neither the delusional soulmate.
And finding a right partner is not about finding someone who is perfect or someone with a similar mindset, but someone who embraces not just your love, kindness, and care, but also your anger, your unpredictability, and your flaws.
