Living With Older Housemates Changed My Perspective on Life

You don’t have to make your own mistakes to learn from them.

If you are reading this at the odd-hour after midnight. You are not alone. We keep searching for ‘what is life about?’ expecting to find an answer. When we know there’s none.

I had to relocate for a job, to another country, where I don’t know anyone. I’d have to live with strangers. But, I don’t mind sharing. What concerned me the most was the age gap.

As it turns out, I was blessed to live with three remarkable women. The near-decade age gap between us felt like nothing. They gifted me with a whole-lot-of love and an insight into my future.

Being Older Doesn’t Make You Wiser

A lot can happen in a year. You wake up, go to work, go to bed. Rinse and repeat until the next year rolls over.

This routine becomes a template, in which we measure our quality of life. It becomes the security blanket that suffocates us. It stops us from being adventurous, dampening our self-confidence, making us more anxious about trying something new.

This replaces our sense of curiosity with fear when faced with an unfamiliar situation.

My housemate opened up to me about how she felt her parents’ advice destroyed her marriage. They didn’t take the cultural challenges into account. Her parents couldn’t have known, they have never been in a mixed marriage.

You are a fool to claim you know everything. Did you know half of your hand strength is in your pinkie? I didn’t.

Adulthood is Long

The average human lifespan is 79 years. Adulthood starts at 21 years old. You have 58 years left to live.

Before the two of them turned 30. They have finished their degrees, worked five jobs, lived abroad, got married and divorced. It hit me. They went through so much, in such little time. Yet, there’s still a long way to go.

It’s okay to slow down.

A concept I continue to struggle with. As I grew up being taught to grind until you get there. It’s a dangerous mindset to have, as it often leads you to burn out.

You don’t have to use up every second of your life. You are allowed to pause, and reflect on what matters to you. Or else, you’ll find yourself exhausted. Asking where did the time go? What did I do with it?

Bad Things Happen, Get Used to It

As a good person, you believe you are immune to bad things. But bad things happen to everybody. No one could have predicted the impact of COVID-19 would have on our lives.

Unexpected things pop up when you least expected. You can cry about how unfair it is. But it doesn’t change the fact, it happened.

We lost our jobs due to the pandemic. One of us found out when she was driving, resulting in a car crash. Luckily, no injures. Only a few scratch on the car. Within a week, she sold everything, got the car repaired, and arranged it to be transported back to her home country.

The whole ordeal was stressful. But she got through it with so much calmness and grace. I was in awe.

If those things were to happen to you, it would feel like the world is ending. Your reaction determines the outcome of the event. Because it’s only as bad as you make it out to be.

You Are in Charge

We talk about life as if it’s an entity that controls you. Sometimes, it forces you to do things that you don’t want to. It is not.

Despite losing her dream job, I haven’t seen my housemate this happy. She chose to immerse herself in her hobby. To later find out, photography is her true calling. We worked together to iron out the kinks and started shooting for fun.

Now, she spends the whole day researching, studying, and editing photos. Of course, she still mourns the loss of her job. But her optimism and commitment outshine her sadness.

It just goes to show it’s never too late to take a chance on a passion project. That’s why I am here.