Lying at an Interview Almost Cost me the Job
“Lying is bad"
"The truth will set you free"
"Honesty is the best policy"
How many times have I heard these phrases? Enough times, to repeat them in a situation where I'm faced with telling the truth or lying- and still lie through my teeth. Even when I know it's wrong. So why do I do it?
Late August I had applied for a content writing gig on Upwork. Fortunately, the client got back to me telling me she loved my sample. And I had been shortlisted to the top 3 candidates for an interview the following week.
During the week to my interview, we chatted and built some good rapport with each other. On the day of the interview, my client sent me a message asking me if I was fine with 9:30 pm Brisbane time for the interview.
After checking the time on Google, I agreed.
Unfortunately, I can be on the short end of the stick when it comes to using technology. And I had gotten the time zones mixed up. Thinking my interview wasn't for another 4-5 hours when in reality it was a few minutes away.
As a habit, I turn off my mobile data whenever I'm not on my phone. So after telling my client 9:30 p.m was fine I put my off my data, and headed to the kitchen to grab a quick bite.
I returned to my phone and put on my data to see a series of missed calls and texts.
My heart was pounding as I pulled out Google and checked the time again only to see that I had gotten the time zones mixed up.
I go back to the chat room and I'm looking at the missed calls and the texts telling me I'm late with "this 🙂" smiley face. And my next line of thought was to lie about why I was late.
First I apologized for being late, then I tell her that my internet connection went blank. But it was up now, and I was ready for my interview.
Why I had chosen such a poor lie, I cannot tell to this day. But what I can tell you, is why I had attempted to lie in the first place.
The Science Behind Why We Lie
So my lie was caught and hacked to death before it even had a chance to do the work it was set out to do.
My client called me out immediately for lying, told me she did not tolerate lies and asked me to admit that I had gotten the time zones mixed up (if I had, and I did)
At this point, I knew there was no need to attempt getting off with lying, so I told the truth. I admitted to getting the time zones mixed up, and missing all her calls and texts because my mobile data was off. My connection never went blank.
She appreciated my honesty and gave me another chance at the interview.
Time for the golden question- why did I lie?
The obvious answer is I didn’t want to admit to getting the time zones wrong. The not so obvious answer is, I was ashamed to admit to my shortcoming. And I was afraid of getting backlash for it. I think this is the reason we all lie: shame and fear.
Whenever faced in a situation where we have to tell the truth, we are either:
- Ashamed of what the truth is
- Afraid of the reaction that will come from telling the truth
In my case, it was both. I was ashamed of admitting, that I wasn’t "competent" enough to get the time of my interview right. That wasn’t the kind of impression I wanted my future boss to have of me. But in reality, she was more upset that I had lied to her. And showed no concern about my getting the time zones mixed up.
And that’s the gag of it all. 85% of the time the feeling of shame or fear is generated by our inner critic, not the person we have to admit the truth to.
Why Lying isn’t Worth It
When we lie, we try to create a safe reality for ourselves. One where we don’t have to deal with our shame or fear. If you’re able to get away with your lie, it leaves you with a sense of relief. But only for a little while.
Sadly, that safe reality is as temporary as ice out of a freezer, because once the truth is out we’re back where we started. Ashamed of lying, and afraid of the consequences that come with telling a lie.
How to Stop Lying
Like any other bad habit, the ability to stop something like lying is to be self-aware of why we do it in the first place. Ask yourself, by telling this lie what do I hope to achieve. What will happen when I don't achieve it and get caught lying.
Being able to answer these questions draws you back from the temporary safeness that lying will bring. It keeps you grounded in the reality of being someone who makes mistakes. And understanding that these mistakes are nothing to be ashamed about or afraid of.
