Materialism In Childhood
Where to draw the line
I do not have a television in my house for 6 years now.
Sounds a tad outlandish, but true.
Now, I have had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my daughter at home. We do a lot of activities together. So, she never felt the absence of a TV in our house. Some times during the day, she would watch a little on my laptop. But later, once she started visiting her friends’ and relatives’ places, she felt that we are missing something in our house. So, she comes up to me one day and asks why we do not have the television while all her friends have it.
I had been expecting the question popping up, sooner or later.
I just explained to her that since we do not have a TV, we spend so much time on other things she likes such as painting, doodling, sketching, or just making things out of cardboard boxes and waste. That is so much more fun. I also showed her videos on the adverse effects of watching. So, it is good that we do not have one in our house.
She was satisfied and from that day on she would flaunt the fact. Still does.
Materialism: Pain Points
The world is today engulfed by the same. Not just from the home front, the influence is evident in many walks of our lives. Somewhere, this is one of the many costs of living in today’s world.
Shopping habits
Just walking along the aisle between the shelves in a mall, one realizes the number of options that are thrown at a consumer today. Companies spend fortunes just designing the blueprints, with the objective of influencing the buying habits and decisions of the shopper.
The layout and placement of the products in your supermarket are no more random. It is designed from the psychological viewpoint of each member of the family today.
Why else would they place all the confectioneries near the billing counters? Obviously, to give kids more time to negotiate( or ‘perform’, whichever suits them and gets the job done) and ‘the poor parents have nowhere else to go. What better than that!
Media
And not to forget the other partner in crime — advertisements.
With loads of glamour quotient, quick-as-a-wink results, celebrity effect, and promising-the-moon messages, they have all of us wrapped around their fingers. Ads today target the children directly rather than the parents, taking advantage of the fact that parents today have become a generation of more accommodative caretakers.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics,
Children under 8 are not able to understand advertisements as attempts to sell them products and will accept any claims advertisements make without scrutiny. This makes them exceptionally vulnerable as targets of ads.
And armed with the belief of whatever the children have seen in an advertisement, they land in a supermarket- a place, to freely explore their options.
Peer pressure
The race to have the ‘latest’, is the perfect accelerator to materialism.
Seeing the new doll in her friend’s hand just makes the perfect reason for Mary to go back home and demand the same. ‘He has this’ and ‘she has this’ is a never-ending spell cast upon the millennials. Sometimes, it is the parents who feel the need to be ‘updated’ than the kids.
Pseudo satisfaction
A lot of credit for the materialism in today’s children also stems from the comfort the parents derive out of satisfaction to be able to provide for the kids. It might be a subdued desire they would have had during their childhood that is being satiated through their children today. ‘I never had that when I was a kid’- familiar?
What to do about it
No, it is not a battle that we have already lost. With a little consciousness, it can be easily achieved. Because you see, as Bruno Bettelheim says;
Raising children is a creative endeavor, an art rather than science.
Let no one else tell you any different.
Coming down to what we can do to keep things our way.
1.) Reason with kids that everyone does not possess everything
A fair amount of ‘No’ is required. And a little patience. Sprinkled with some reasonings. But she has. Why can’t I? A question, thrown at me a lot of times. My daughter. So, I ask her, does she have this? No, right? So there will always be things which you will have and others won't and the other way. And again, when you go to her place or she comes down, you will be playing with the same things!
Allot a small amount of money and ask them to pick the best option. Avoiding taking them to supermarkets would not resolve the purpose. It will only delay the process which magnifies later. That teaches them to check the price of different products. Evaluating the options and arriving at the best decision. You would also need to invest some time in helping the kid out.
Avoid rewarding for things they are supposed to do. Electric scooter for good grades? Remember? That teaches them that things are transactional. Never be tempted to give away a carrot for something a child is responsible for. It makes him/her look for something in return for every little act. That later transcends from small things to relationships.
2.) Involve them in financial discussions. Encourage them in making better choices.
A daily allowance. Makes saving a habit. And a consciousness that spending takes a little time as compared to saving. It also teaches them to wait things out, somewhere enhancing the joy of getting something.
You can talk finance with them in light doses. I would move around in a pensive mood in front of my daughter just to arise her curiosity. And once she falls into the trap and comes over to ask me, I would casually tell her that I am unable to decide between two options. Could she help? And she would sit by me and give her inputs. That would make her feel important and intelligent. She would ask questions like what does each cost, what does each do? and then I would tell her about reviews and delivery cost. The little mind would be lost in addition. But she would come to a conclusion.
As she grew up, she did that in her own purchases. She would weigh the options before making a decision.
But, be aware not to burden them with your financial difficulties. That might have an unwanted contrast effect, where they consider any expense as unnecessary. That would not be a healthy trait to developed in a kid.
3.) Teaching them the concept of profit and marketing.
Teach them basic accounting. Keeping tab of money instills a financial responsibility in children.
The wants and needs have to be clearly identified.
Might sound trivial but the visual appeal of the advertisements is the major reason for immense materialism in children. Teaching them the connection between purchasing, profits, business, and marketing would help them understand the motives behind the creation of such glamorous advertisements. Making them see healthy and unhealthy also helps in handling demands for the newest cereals or the latest chocolates.
4.) Make them give.
My daughter for many days felt that it is the ‘card’ that you need to get money or purchase anything you want. Today's children feel that everything is accessible.
They need to be shown and told about children who do not even the basic things. They need to be made aware of the things they have and that they should be grateful for the same. Sharing and giving instill a sense of gratitude for having.
Conclusion
The biggest challenge for a modern parent is raising a child within this consumeristic culture.
And the best way to communicate to a child is to just practice it. All these fall flat when children see a discrepancy in what we say and what we do. So,
Walk the talk.
The general idea of today is to raise their children as princes/princesses. Meaning, to provide them with all that is possible and available.
True, but we conveniently forget the part where they ( the princes and princesses) were also made to endure hardships in order to equip them to be future-ready. They were sent away to faraway schools to acquire knowledge in every field of life and put through more rigorous training than a common man’s kid or farmer’s because he/she had greater responsibility in the future. Enabling them to be responsible for themselves and the people around them.
Having said that, one cannot just pack the bags and settle in a land of nothingness. We have to be amidst these worldly affairs. The best way is to teach and show our children the ability to make the right call.
You see, it is not what you possessed people will remember after you;
It is how many lives you touched.
