My Best Friend Is 75, and I’m in My 30's
Age truly is just a number…No, really.
All my life, I’ve gravitated to people who were my senior in age. When I was in high school, the majority of my friends were at the very least, in the grade ahead of me. When I would become an adult, this is a trend that I would loyally stick with.
I’m not sure what drew me to people that were older than me. Maybe I sought out their knowledge. Maybe I thought I would be cool by association. Whatever the reason, I’ve always felt it was easy for me to befriend people that are my senior in age. Not ever thinking twice about it. It’s always been very natural for me to connect with them.
I’ve learned over the years that having friends who are decades older than me is viewed by some, as strange. Why is that, though? Is society choosing for us who we are friends with? Are we subconsciously instructed to befriend others that are in our very close age proximity?
If so, then I have proved, in that regard, to be a black sheep in the societal norm. I’ve never even thought about it until recently. As I look around, I see small groups of friends hanging out at the coffee shop. Eating in restaurants. Shopping at the mall. Chatting in book shops.
All of these groups have a common thread I’ve begun to notice. They are all in the same age group. Now that I’ve noticed this, I’m on hyper-alert for more mixed-age groups. Or really, ANY mixed age groups. I haven’t come across any, that I can pick out.
Everywhere I look, it seems as though most of the people I see are with others who are very similar to themselves. At least, visually similar. Sure, we all want to find friends in life we have things in common with. Same taste in music. Same vegan lifestyle. Same horror movie addiction.
When, however, did a three to five age range in either direction become a thing we have in common? Just because we are close in age, we automatically are a good fit? My opinion is proving to be an odd one. When asking others their thoughts on being friends with people decades their senior, they typically stumble over their response.
Usually, it’s something they haven’t considered. A thought that hasn’t crossed their mind. When they look at someone who is that much older than themselves, they see that person as a grandparent figure, not as a possible friend. That’s if they see them at all. I suppose it isn’t natural for most to consider a friendship with someone so far ahead of themselves in age.
If I had to list all of my friends, the list would start with ages from the mid-twenties and go up from there. When I compare myself to people I inquire on the subject, I’m an anomaly. What has been so normal to me, is considered somewhat weird to others. They’re intrigued by it.
Writing this, I am actively thinking of not only my friends but people that I know in general. Co-workers, casual acquaintances, the grocery store clerk. People that I’ve raised this conversation with, and to no surprise, not one person I can think of has a friend (that I know of) who is more than ten years older than them.
How can this be? I can’t help but think that they are really missing out. To have regular conversations about what everyday life was like in the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s is such a neat experience. Hearing how different things were during those times and also how similar things were is eye-opening. Some stories are just plain mind-blowing.
A very dear friend of mine, Marjie, grew up in glamorous old Hollywood. She was actually down the street when the ‘Black Dahlia’ was found, watching as the police gathered around Elizabeth Shorts' body. She went to school with Natalie Wood. Was friendly and used to go swimming with Norma Jeane Baker, who would later become Marilyn Monroe.
Now come on, you can’t get a cooler friend than that. When I hear these stories being told to me, I’m completely mesmerized. Instantly transported back to a time long before I was even a thought. Cool stories, though, aren’t the only advantage to having close friends that are decades older than I am.
My older generation's friends remind me to relax. That not everything is a huge deal. Bad things happen. This is life. Sometimes the bad things are small and other times they are big. They continue to teach me that nothing is permanent. What seems like a massively horrible situation now, could very well end up being a blessing.
They remind me to be present. That life isn’t meant to be perfect and everything won’t always work out. And that’s okay. To sit back and enjoy life as much as I can, and to just…be. Everyone has something to offer. Our senior friends just have a little bit more to offer, inexperience, and knowledge.
Older people are constantly being pushed aside by society. They are regularly told that they are no longer relevant. That they just don’t matter anymore. I don’t and will never agree with this. The elderly community may not know how to use Tik-Tok, but they’re still here. They still have a lot to offer.
I will never discard them, and most certainly will never abandon them. One day I’ll be in my seventies. If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll have a friend who is decades my junior. A friend that will help me to feel young again, but also, feel not forgotten. Because deep down, we all want to be acknowledged, no matter what age we are.
