Results are Overrated
How to embrace the process and love more of your life
Both my high school and college cross-country coaches touted the phrase “The journey is the goal”. They wanted to reinforce that while we wanted to win championships, the season was not a waste if that didn’t happen. At the time we thought they were a little crazy- all we cared about was winning.
I competed in many important races throughout my career. When I reflect on my competitive running experience, I don’t remember the race results.
I remember the experiences I had along the way — I remember two-hour dinners in the dining hall with my future groomsmen because we enjoyed each other’s company. I remember the weekend NHL tournaments on Xbox or the “5 weeks of fun” between track and cross-country season. I remember having fun each day of the season.
This has been true in every phase of my life. I truly enjoyed spending 50 hours a week in a classroom with my close friends during physical therapy school. When I moved on and finished my residency I remember saying to my two co-residents “I’ll miss seeing you every day.”
A recent conversation between my Dad and my Grandma reminded me of the importance of the journey. I bought my dad a home brewing kit for Christmas, and he’s very excited about it. After unboxing the kit and answering all my grandma’s questions about the components, she says:
“That’s too much work. Can’t you just go to a brewery and drink their beer?”
This is where my dad had to bite his tongue. We definitely can go to a brewery and buy beer, but that’s not the point. It’s all about the process.
There’s a strong chance that at the end of the 5-week brew, that we sit down to drink the beer, and it sucks. I know it, and my dad knows it.
The point of the home brewing kit is not to make the best-tasting beer; it’s about the experience of making the beer. My dad now has a new project. He relishes in the process of going online and learning. He’ll get sucked into a rabbit hole of videos on YouTube about how to do it right. Then he can explain it to me, and hopefully pass down some skill. It’s also an activity we get to do together.
Think about making cookies with your kids. When young kids are involved, there’s a strong chance the cookies get fucked up along the way, but that doesn’t matter.
The afternoon you spend baking cookies with your child is more important than how the cookie tastes. You’ll have a new memory to share, and that was one more afternoon you spent completing an enjoyable task.
Anytime a popular TV show ends, the cast is always asked the same question: what will you miss? They all say the same thing: “I’ll miss coming to work every day and spending time with this second family.”
You see it with Amy Poehler at the end of Parks and Rec, or the cast of Modern Family in their finale interviews.
My favorite interview video is “The Office- Cast Bids Farewell”. These actors repeatedly mention how much they’ll miss their day-to-day routine on set.
Not once do they mention how they’ll miss the awesome ratings or winning awards.
Getting more out of each day requires you to let go of the destination. Yes, goals are important. But as humans, we spend too much time focusing on the future and the past. We forget to live in the moment. Is getting that promotion worth it if you miss out on your life in the meantime?
“How are you going to spend your life?”
“I’m not sure, but I do know I’m gonna live every minute of it.” — Joe Gardner, Soul
I have tried to spend more time focusing on the journey last year. My wedding day is coming up this year and I’m looking forward to it. However, I’ve taken it upon myself to enjoy the process. I get to spend each day with my fiancé, making decisions about a day we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.
We’ve been staying with my family for the last 6 months, and I know at times we are both anxious to buy our own house. When that day comes, we’ll miss the little moments we get with my parents each day. It’s important for me to appreciate the present. We only get to do this once, so I don’t want to rush to the finish line.
If 2020 has taught me anything, it’s that we never know what lies ahead. Each day is a privilege. Even if the result sucks, try to enjoy the ride. We can’t get time back once it’s gone.
