What Made Him Not to Have Sex with Me?
I know my story will or might sound similar to yours, but I will still tell my own side of the story and allow you to compare and most properly learn from my own version of it.
Last year, I went to this fun-filled city with my friends. We were supposed to spend five months because of a work project, but it was cut short to two months because of an urgent matter. But within the two months, that was when my own story happened.
We came into the city around 11 pm, we were picked up by this very interesting guy, who we would later know to be our colleague from another branch. He wouldn’t stop making us laugh. He continued talking and we all enjoyed it. He didn’t stop until we got to the hotel that was close to a lovely island where we were supposed to stay for the five months.
The Love I thought I have found
Things started getting interesting or so I thought when he served me breakfast in bed the next morning and I said to myself, I have finally found the one for me. We would play all the romantic plays that have ever existed. We went to fun places together. And we also concentrated whenever we are needed at work. We continued this way, and I started falling gradually in love with him. He too was acting like one who was already in love with me. So, we continued having fun together until one day…
We went out to a lovely restaurant near the city capital, the place was decorated in a very beautiful way, with petals spread on the rug and I was made to walk on it. I felt like a princess who has just found her prince charming. Everything was so real that day, that I let my guard down and accepted him with both my body and soul.
After having a very delicious meal with a bottle of champagne, we headed back to the hotel. On arriving at the hotel, he kissed my forehead and then went straight to give me a splendid kiss.
‘That kiss made me invite him to my room because I thought it was love’.
When we got to my room, we talked for a few minutes and started kissing again. But he stopped immediately I pulled off my clothes, I was surprised and then he looked at me and said: “your body sucks”. I took it as a joke because he jokes a lot, but when he wouldn’t touch me or even come close to me, then I realized that he really meant what he was saying. He left my room that day and stopped talking to me.
What was wrong with my body?
What could actually make a man not to have sex with a woman he claims he loves?
This question has been on my mind and I have been searching for the answer to date. (I will love to hear your answers on the comment section).
My story
I am an average beautiful girl, beautiful because my friends say so, that is what I now believe, the description of what people give about me. I no longer know myself; I have long forgotten who I am.
At a very tender age, I mistakenly poured hot water on myself, where I was searching for something to eat. The hot water poured all over my body and I was very lucky to have survived it. I was given every necessary treatment but the scars wouldn’t go away.
‘It made my body look somehow irritating’.
When I was growing up, it was very difficult for me to pull my clothes in front of my friends. I also suffered even with all the boyfriends I have had. They would only have sex with me with the lights off or in the night when they won’t be seeing my body. I had stopped falling in love until this guy, that I thought truly loves me came by.
Maybe I will go celibate from now on, till I find the one who is truly made for me.
One thing I am learning now is to trust and love myself, although it’s difficult I will keep trying my best.
Many people have advised me to go for plastic surgery, but I wouldn’t want anything that will change me from who I am, I have taken it to be part of what life has offered me. That is why I want to share my own story with as many people that are facing the same problem.
The Lessons
Do not allow people to define ‘who you are’ for you. Don’t allow low self-esteem to take charge of you because of someone who cannot give life to anything. Do not allow someone who doesn’t love you for who you are, to affect or change any perspective about yourself.
You are a diamond in making, you are great and nothing can ever change that. Do not be quick to change what cannot be changed, what even science cannot correct. Some of these effects or scars has come to stay, you can only try your best to accept it as who you are. Don’t let them get to you, you have places where you perfect in, why not focus on those things or aspects of your life.
Focus on what you know how to do best, and keep up with your hard work, and one day, just like Cinderella, your own prince charming or your own princess will find you.
Be strong! Because I know you are.
Love yourself.
Continue with what you are good at and what you love doing.
And just one day, you will turn back and say to yourself, ‘I am glad I choose to love myself’.
And for those of us who come across such people, try your best to be mindful of what you say to them, some are dying silently. Never make mockery of people with any form of disabilities or deformity. Learn to love and appreciate them, because they weren’t the cause of what happened to them. Always try to be nice.
