Who I am
We have all wronged others, we have all deceived, we have all been selfish, we’ve all been cowards, some time or the other. A virtuous person doesn’t ever forget all these times they have been any of those things, all of the times when they have been less than virtuous.
Have you ever felt like you don’t know who you are? What you stand for? Where you shall go? You know you are a good person, you’ve never meant any wrong, any hurt, not without a justification — which in your mind is a justification. It’s valid and stands by what you (want to) believe in.
If only we look back and acknowledge that we have been all of those things we resent in others. We understand what it’s like to be a coward but point fingers at others when they do the something or omit to do something they ‘should’ have done, because they are cowards.
It triggers something in us, something that reminds us of ourselves and how angry we are at ourselves for being that — being less righteous. We are angry because we still can do nothing to correct those mistakes we made. We are angry because time has not made us stronger, time has not made us courageous enough to accept, confess, or expiate those actions even if we were given a chance to.
We want to be ourselves, we want to accept ourselves when our constant state of mind is an insecure denial. When Lord knows that our lives have become a perpetual run from the very roots of who we really, really are. Who we’ve been, who we perhaps wish we’d never been.
I wish us all healing.
