The quarantine survival guide
Why does Happiness Feel like a Criminal Act in COVID-19 Times?
Your guide to navigating pandemic guilt
Worrying. It seems like the only thing we have been able to do since March, and as awful as it feels, we are not pushing those feelings away, as we keep reminding ourselves that we “should” be worried while battling a global pandemic.
Then there are those rare moments during which we catch ourselves doing something that brings us pure bliss. We play a game with our siblings while getting very competitive, pick up a book that makes us laugh, and have a hilarious phone call with a best friend.
It feels refreshing. Yet it feels wrong.
The little voice in the back of our minds then rears its ugly head and says:
We are in the middle of a pandemic and you are having a good time. You should be ashamed of yourself.
The moment is gone; all you are left with is colossal guilt, and you then start to wonder if everyone else experiences this roller coaster of emotions too.
Survivor’s Guilt: Pandemic Edition
If you are wondering what is behind all of these feelings, it’s simple: this is a new form of survivor’s guilt.
We are all hearing countless stories of people losing their jobs, struggling to find a balance while quarantined, and having to care for a loved one that has contracted the virus.
It is difficult for us to enjoy our own situation knowing that other people are suffering. We feel guilty. Yet we did nothing wrong.
This often leads us to start questioning why we are not impacted in a more severe way, all the while trying to convince ourselves that logically, we should be feeling worse during the fight against Covid-19.
The Battle For Sanity
While it is understandable that we are all feeling pandemic guilt on some level, it is imperative for us to find ways to still enjoy certain moments of happiness.
We will be entering month six of the pandemic in a few days, without even having an estimate in terms of how long this will continue to go on for. This is far too long a time period to deprive ourselves of positive moments.
We cannot berate ourselves for months on end for not suffering “enough”. By doing so, our mental health will end up severely affected, and that is far too high a price to pay.
However, there are many things we can do in order to alleviate this guilt, and in turn, feel good about our situation.
Take Action In Order To Relieve The Guilt
Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do — Voltaire
You have a few options right now. You can continue sitting at home, feeling guilty, or you can take action.
You may be asking yourself: “But how am I supposed to take action when we have all been instructed to spend as much time as possible at home?”
That is a fair point; however, we are still in contact with others, even though it is in a virtual context most of the time. Hence, here are some of the things you can do:
- At work: Check up on your coworkers, see if they are exhibiting any symptoms of pandemic guilt, and ask them if there is anything you can do to help alleviate their struggles. Discuss which challenges you have all been facing throughout the last few months and see if there is a way to help one another overcome them.
- At home: Be patient with your loved ones, and remind them of the reasons why you appreciate them. Are there certain aspects of your daily at-home routine that are draining your energy? Change it up! Try new things, they might just have positive impact on your day-to-day life.
- Passion projects: Is there anything that you love doing which could benefit others during these difficult times? Let’s say you love to cook — record yourself preparing one of your favourite meals and share it with your social network. Some of your friends might get inspired, make your dish and spend an hour thinking about the delicious food they are preparing as opposed to thinking about the virus. You might just be surprised in terms of how many people were positively touched by your initiative.
- Involve yourself: There are many volunteer-based organizations that are doing wondrous things for the community during this period, most of them doing their work remotely. Inform yourself in terms of what is happening in your community and get involved! It’s easier to sleep at night knowing that you are doing your part for your community during this crisis.
- Shift to gratitude: In those moments when you feel guilty for feeling good, switch up the narrative and remind yourself of how thankful you are for the good fortune you are experiencing during this dark episode (as opposed to berating yourself for not feeling worse).
What If I Allow Myself To Keep Feeling Guilty Regularly?
By not taking action and relieving yourself of this guilt, one of two things will happen:
- You will start to feel significantly more miserable on the daily
- You will reach a breaking point, during which you will decide to stop caring about the whole situation and start acting recklessly
The first alternative is awful for reasons that do not need to be explained. However, the second is dangerous, as other people can be negatively impacted once you reach this breaking point.
Say you continue restricting yourself and your feelings for the next few months. You do not allow yourself to truly experience happiness and keep telling yourself that things will remain awful until the pandemic ends.
Then you wake up one morning and decide that you have had enough. You stop caring about it all because you do not have it in you to continue this way.
As a result, you stop following the guidelines recommended by doctors and public health experts. You decide to live life in the way that you used to, pre-pandemic. You start going out and socializing whenever you have the opportunity to do so. You might even book a trip to an exotic destination.
With this type of behaviour, you put countless people at risk because you simply do not care anymore. But at this point, it is too late, because you have reached your breaking point and cannot go back to restricting yourself in the way you used to when the pandemic started.
This is why it is important to take action and relieve yourself of the guilt you are experiencing.
And if you cannot or do not want to do it for yourself, then do it for others. By helping yourself not reach that breaking point, you are ensuring that others will not be put at risk by your behaviour.
You just might save a life.
