Other people are so important to us that sometimes, trying to please them becomes our major scope in life.
I’ve met so many people that were so busy worrying about others that sometimes they forgot to take care of themselves.
Give yourself a break!
Here are some thoughts on why you should allow yourself to focus more on you and why self-interest is not by definition selfish:
If you are caring for yourself first, you are not necessarily concerned only with your interest. You have the physical, mental, and emotional capacity to love others.
You are just aware of how important being happy in your skin is. You want to love yourself first to avoid putting on others the burden of your happiness.
Being concerned about your benefits and welfare does not mean that you don’t regard other people’s particular situation.
Maybe you will be able to help others more if at least you can do better financially.
When your energy is focused on yourself first, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care about what other people feel or think.
You are maybe more aware of how your energy and thoughts are influencing others.
Maybe you want to make sure that you bring a positive influence on others. You may choose to put a lot of thought into becoming trustworthy and credible.
Focusing on yourself requires that you are intentional in recognizing and differentiating between your needs and the needs of others.
Focussing more on yourself doesn’t mean automatically that you don’t think about others.
It could as well mean that you put your oxygen mask before helping others. You don’t wait for others to save you and take responsibility for your life. Moreover, you also ensure that you can save as many others as possible.
It’s ok sometimes to make decisions even if other people disagree with it. It means that you take accountability for your own life.
You don’t expect others to live up to your expectations, you assume your part of the game.
When you think about yourself first, sometimes you may do it to hold yourself responsible. You think first about what you need from yourself before having expectations from others. You owe it to yourself first.
When you say what you think and other people are not pleased, at least you don’t live with the guilt that you didn’t speak up your mind.
You may speak your mind always not because you are selfish, but because you are eager to find that someone that contradicts your thoughts so badly and has a good valid point to do it. You are open to listening to their views because it helps you to continue learning and improve your thinking.
If you want to spend more time finding and doing what you enjoy, it isn’t at all selfish. Investing in learning or just taking time to reflect on yourself doesn’t equal to not having a life of yours.
When you leave everything and just go to explore the world, it doesn’t mean that you abandoned other people — maybe you are just doing it to discover yourself and to acquire a wealthy state of mind, so you can give back to others later on in your life.
You don’t have to figure out life. You need figuring out yourself.
You may like also to read:
5 Important Lessons from My First Month on Medium.
But you can use my personal view on connections, reciprocity, and productizing work to accelerate your growth…