Why I am afraid of Social Media.

Navigating people’s opinions of me online…

Raymond D. White
Be Unique
4 min readSep 5, 2018

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“iPhone X beside MacBook” by Tim Bennett on Unsplash

There was a time years ago where I was very active on social media. Literally, posting anything and everything that came to mind, without a cause. I was one of those guys that would tweet Drake lyrics late at night, post a thought provoking statement, and upload a few of my own Carpool Karaoke videos. Those are floating around somewhere…

But as I got older, my interactions and engagement with the platforms dwindled.

What changed?…..

Woe Is Me

I got two roadblocks that are in my way from being more active on social:

1. The Opinion of Others

The Trolls and The Opinionated scare me the most.

Regardless of the platform of engagement (podcasting, blogging, vlogging), people may think that my life is fake. I internalized the thought that my life not exciting and won’t connect with anyone.

I was worried that my content would taking up space.

2. Undefined Audience

Now that there has been an explosion of thought leaders, influential speakers, and exceptional authors, creating content just to create content will get lost in the Internet of Things.

The pressure to have a strong message with a great impact weighed heavy on my posting fingers. Suddenly, my words didn’t feel profound. I felt like an inconvenience if one post was focused on sports and another was focused on the beach.

What’s the connection between them? Who would be interested and why would they care?

My constructed realities resulted in me losing confidence in my capabilities. I am afraid my failures will be exposed in public and that I will be seen as a loser.

Stop Caring

So, how do I get over these roadblocks of social media engagement?

I did some “market research” (a.k.a. scrolled through Instagram and Twitter) and observed the top content creators that are out there on social media. Their current posts, their message, even their earlier posts.

These people are living fearless and putting their voice out there. These folks do it regardless of the worry and criticism from the world.

Maybe they are full of fear, yet show their scars anyway.

Why?

In the countless content I’ve seen, I have seen a common theme:

“They don’t care about what other people think”

Seriously.

I feel that they are producing content screaming out “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!” like The Rock use to do back in the day (see the meme for reference).

From Fandom.com
  • They care to an extent about the words they say, but they are unashamed of who they are and what they are bringing to the world.
  • They recognize that life is a journey, and getting better at their craft through intentionality and consistency.
  • They take action to learn what works and what doesn’t work, which brings self-awareness and clarity into their identity.

These individuals are exhibiting boldness by putting themselves. They are exposed to the judging and mocking, yet progress through anyway without a care for the comments.

Maybe they do care about it all and hide it well. I don’t know, but it seems to fuel to improve their craft and serve their audience well.

Own Your Story

While I’m still working through defining the audience for my produced content, I can make strides in changing my perspective on The Opinionated.

In other words, not care about what they say. Take action regardless. Learn as you go. Share what you’ve learned with others.

One of my mentors would always ask me “what kind of story do you want to tell?” Part of this is taking the time to know your story and how your experience can help someone else.

I want the actions and decisions of my life to tell a great story. I also want my story to impact the lives of others around me.

And as we look at the nature of society, social media is vastly progressing into areas of the world quicker than our physical presence. We need to step up to the challenge and find a way for our stories to be told in this new age.

People need to hear your perspective on similar situations they are going through. That builds authenticity and community online.

And we are all trying to figure life out anyway, so why should I place this pressure on myself?

Join in on the discovery with the rest of the world!

Take Action Regardless of “The Opinionated”

I need to get over myself. I know that I have a social and moral responsibility that I need adhere to. I can’t be acting careless and foolish out here. But there is seriously nothing to complain about. I need to work through my fears and just do the work.

My production will get better through consistency and intentionality.

Seeing tiny successes from the actions we take provides motivation to continue in that direction. It shows that something is working. Pursuing that feeling can ultimately lead to perfecting your craft and empowering your audience to do the same.

However, how we define success shouldn’t only be measured by the opinions of others. The deep work of understanding our identity, our message, and our desired impact to a community has to be our guiding metrics when we take action.

Don’t let fear and societal pressures of social media prohibit you from speaking your truth.

“The life you live and have gone through can be an inspiration for someone chasing their dreams. Document it and share it fearlessly.”

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Raymond D. White
Be Unique

I collaborate with leaders to integrate DEI into their people & culture strategies. Need help developing a belonging team culture? Let’s chat!