Why Babies Don’t Need Coaches
When you lead with love, passions ignite inspired action
It has taken me a lifetime, and my first grandchild, to begin to understand what’s broken in the workplace. I would have been a far better leader and CEO if I had known twenty-two years ago what I know now.
Meet Zelda, my granddaughter. What do you see? An adorable, toothy smile? Look closer. Take this in. Gaze into her eyes. Study her cheeks. She’s smiling with her entire face. And that little hand peeking up under her chin. Can you tell? Joy is coursing through every part of her being. Her whole body is smiling. Messy face, runny nose, booboo above her eye. She’s oblivious to it all. Why? Because she’s present. In her father’s arms, locked onto her mother’s eyes, that is the look of love without a story. A healthy baby in a happy home. Well cared for, her only job is to show up. And grow.
Imagine now that she feels concern for what’s expected of her. “I’m supposed to be perfect. Clean and tidy.” “I need to impress my parents.” “I’m expected to be cute and witty and fun?” Would these thoughts change how she behaves? Would she look and act the same? Look deeper. Where’s her focus now? Is she in the moment, connecting with her mom? Or is she preoccupied and self-absorbed in her story, full of worry and fear?
Babies aren’t concerned about getting it right. They show up as themselves, doing their baby jobs as best they can with no fear of judgment. They crawl and stand and fall, again and again. Resilient curiosity in motion. They focus on their world, not on how the world could be judging them. And it isn’t without purpose. They make tremendous developmental progress as a result. Babies don’t need coaches to stay on track. They need only love, training and gentle guidance to channel their natural drive.
If this recipe is so effective for developing human beings from birth, why is it abandoned later in life? Do we no longer respond to love? Is curiosity reserved for children? Do our interests no longer matter? Are practical concerns supposed to extinguish the flames of our passions?
It’s time to awaken the workplace to this truth. We can do better than fear-based motivation and incentives. Every “do this to get that” exposes the dark side of this coin that withholds the prize. Motivation is powered by a negative impulse — fear of the consequences for failing. Inspiration, fueled by love, and driven by passion, is powered by the energy that grows humans.
Yes, babies don’t need coaches. And when leaders understand and live in this truth, they won’t either.
