In a society that uses alcohol to celebrate and commiserate, alcohol issues can hide in plain sight.
Many of us hear the word alcoholic, and picture a scruffy man drinking under a bridge. We hear high-functioning alcoholic and we picture someone a bit more like Don Draper. Shit together, fancy clothes, whiskey helping them to be exceptional.
But there are many different ways to have a drinking problem. You don’t have to drink a huge amount of booze to find that your life feels out of control and your spirit is dwindling. The uncomfortable truth is that alcohol takes a toll on your health even in small amounts.
So how can you tell when your drinking is…
If you are someone who desperately wants to be a part of a loved one’s recovery process, start here.
I take notes at every AA meeting I go to. Seems like every meeting I hear something exceptionally meaningful that I don’t ever want to forget. It’s an ongoing, never-ending “project” and it makes for some great reading. It was during one of these readings that I realized I had, over the course of many months, jotted down some experiences I hoped to share with my loved ones — my parents and brothers specifically — as part of my recovery from alcoholism.
Some of them have happened. The suggestions on this list either have recently been or currently are (or…
#2 Responsibility doesn’t have to be scary, it can just mean you have something worth having.
I never would have imagined myself as a sober person. I started drinking before I was a teenager, and I loved the effects of alcohol from the very start.
Within a few years, drinking became the norm, rather than the exception. Real-life seemed boring and unreal in comparison. Hangovers were commonplace. My mental health started to suffer. Anxiety, paranoia and depression encouraged me to drink more.
The good times started to be punctured with badness. And I began to worry about the way that I drank. I tried to drink less. To tempt people to the cinema or on walks…
Reclaiming my right to feel in the face of generational male stigmas.
I am a writer in recovery, exploring my growing world, gaining self-awareness, making mistakes, and embracing curiosity to experience long-suppressed feelings. No longer drinking at my emotions, I feel them without the numbing effect of alcohol.
This also makes me a man fighting back against generational male stigmas. Our army, a small but growing brotherhood, challenges persisting beliefs regarding mental toughness and tired definitions of masculinity.
I should have enlisted to fight long ago.
The life that led me to chronic alcoholism was a deadly dance between emotional suppression and unhealthy release. …
You will not always find yourself in other people’s story and that’s just fine.
As a recovering alcoholic, I’m happy to see many sober seekers on social media platforms. People are reaching out for support and as a result of the pandemic, they’re finding more and more of it online. And while the internet can be a great way to find help by reading other peoples’ stories, it can also feel isolating.
For one, online help can’t really replace in-person support through group meetings, one-to-one sponsor meetings, and other face-to-face therapy. Secondly, and more importantly, people often search for sobriety stories online, hoping to relate. …
If you need help to stop the pain, you’re not alone.
I drank because being alive is painful. Because alcohol was pushed on me. Because beer tastes good. Because adverts led me to believe wine was synonymous with contentment. Because I come from a long line of alcoholics. Because I was bored. Because I was exhausted. Because I was overwhelmed. Because my boyfriend was an asshole. Because I felt ugly. Because I was getting old. Because I wanted to dance. Because I was afraid of death.
I drank for so many different reasons, and they all made perfect sense.
So why did I get sober? And why did I start writing…
We all know about reclaiming your weekends, improved sleep, and reduced weight but there are so many more benefits to an alcohol-free existence.
1. Your immune system is stronger.
I used to get sick a lot; flus, colds, whatever was doing the rounds. Right now I’ve been sick once with a virus in 2 years. Alcohol totally f**ks with your immunity.
2. No more slow-brain days.
After a couple of months sober, I noticed I didn’t sit there grimacing because my brain literally hurt to think. Alcohol really dumbs your brain down. Research has found that even those who are not problem drinkers have a reduction in cognitive functions after a heavy night on the booze. But I’m sure you didn’t need research to tell you that right?
3. Skin conditions improve or cease to exist.
There was that whole puffy face…
How to overcame your first sober heartbreak
When you’re a drinker, heartbreaks are part of the lifestyle. Steady relationships aren’t really a thing because you’re not so steady yourself. My longest relationships while drinking never crossed the three month mark and I was okay with that. Addict brain likes the rollercoaster rides and dramas that come with love, lust, and obsession. It wasn’t until I was sober that I realized that this is not normal, even though it was normal for me for many years.
First, I want to tell you my formula for curing heartbreaks when I was drinking:
- Once the break up happens — call…
The 5 lies my self-talk told me to stop me from getting sober.
You have a voice in your head that helps you process the day-to-day. As a drinker, that voice will be louder at times than for other people. Mine screamed. Most importantly, it lied to me, and those lies kept me imprisoned in my drinking.
Ethan Kross’ book Chatter helps show the inner voice we all have as a critic or a coach. The negative ruminations in our minds are chatter: deeply harmful, repetitive thoughts that intensify in a recurring spiral. Chelsey Flood wrote a great article on how to coax the inner voice into being positive.
During my drinking days…
You must harness the voice in your head if you want to succeed.
Before I quit drinking, I criticized myself endlessly. As a result, the first years of sobriety were primarily about developing a nurturing inner voice.
Ethan Kross talks in-depth about the importance of this in his new book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head and How to Harness It.
He writes about “the inescapable tension of the inner voice as both a helpful superpower and destructive kryptonite that hurts us.” The research is clear, he says: the way we talk to ourselves has the power to raise or ruin us.
So if you’re struggling with a toxic inner narrative, you need…
