Three Poems by Gary Lundy
in the house by the abandoned air force base.
in the house by the abandoned air force base. military
bearing. the day after richard dies. brain aneurysm.
misplaced modifier. he knew about us. played his saxophone
all hunched over. like in the old black and white photographs
from the thirties and forties.
my lover father gently unfolds me onto the bed. inserts a
sermon into the fan air surrounding.
to be unable to say i love you. even though i always had.
how your mothers authority poured cold liquid onto our
when as with large hands. his fingers trace your want in this
desire for weeks. chapped face neck aflame. the night my
older lover father dry humps me in vodka delirium.
bite marks cover neck shoulders pits nipples stomach inside
thighs. gasp a willing open.
two men kiss publicly. stand on the street.
two men kiss publicly. stand on the street. your soft father
voice whispers. that’s best kept in private. my eyes linger on
the figures. then up at you. our hands held tightly. i a mere
at times the boy talks to hear his own laughter. against the
odds of ever rediscovering his lost lover father. and yes i do
want the thrown away shoes. the ones your dying friend left
i’m sorry i was unable to help more. unavailable to do more
than nod in agreement. or mouth a sound of tongue on skin.
were you ever to learn how to listen you’d be a formidable
host. insert design on having to keep safe. a slow fade away
impossible to stop. try to imagine memory thought. even
though language prevents.
i need to feel touch once again. pour pain residual
belonging. come alive. if only a few more moments. say ah
yes that’s it. all the way in. scratch compliant surface skin
the other he binds my arms
the other he binds my arms above my head. legs slightly
spread bound as well. the purity of white cotton rope. mouth
gagged eyes covered heightened sense of hearing. as well
as smell and touch. nod yes if this remains all right. up and
nice meeting you like this. are there others in the room. an
other. the heat keeps beads of sweat. scrape a first layer of
skin. dust the wooden floor. no. i agree. it’s never only about
enough pain degradation. no time for sleep walking.
nod yes that’s a good idea. to begin with. never end a
declaration with a weakening proposition. i remain always at
your mercy. intimacy is too difficult. to expose the inside
dangerous. hurt me. make my skin bleed. mark on this
pull against the white cotton rope. seminary evaporation
strain. cut small pieces. glue to alternate universes. nod yes.
struggle to hear the others voices. feel sharp steel nail pain.
this new work its own outside reality. nod yes. stripes
dispersed along the back and legs. brief bright red. then
maroon. strike deliberate leather straps. make the mind
forget. carry the body toward a final failure to return.
smell sweat musk hair stomach genitalia. drool drop
pretense. make thoughts outdated. extinct. breathe short
choppy struggle. abandon imagination expectation. bleed
each instant wholly. nod yes. privacy secretes the three.
nod. yes. it is that difficult. to let one love.